Soulmate
_I: Today I woke up susceptible… Maybe that's all that has happened on this “Fezur” (Serpent of Light) trip. 12 of my friends who are helping me sustain the patterns of the I AM path, and I, plus 72 people, have traveled the Nile with private visits in record time, almost without sleep, and with more homework than explanations. These days have been like a dream, and I mean that literally, it has left us all lost in time and space, without knowing where we were or what day it was. I channeled every day, and the last few especially were intense. Many beings, from different dimensions, very different from each other, also aliens, and many intense signals. Our whole body hurts, and last night, after the transmission, after the eclipse that we spent under the sun in the desert, over the solar temple of Abu Gurab, I fainted. I managed to get to the bed, luckily, but I literally lost consciousness and collapsed. A feeling of nostalgia, abandonment, loneliness came over me, and I really wanted to cry.
_AM: Why?
_I: I think it was a decompensation in many ways. He was very tired, with many people, everything very intense, and suddenly, it was over. I no longer needed strong energy to sustain anything, nor plan anything. Furthermore, the project that I was designing and that would keep me busy until 2026, was defined today, and there is a 99% probability that it will not come out apparently, which returns me to an indescribable state. A strong blow... But at the same time, something that strangely relaxed me because since yesterday I let it go, and let it be what it has to be.
_AM: Very good…
_I: And all of this was as if you had a big power dam like the one in Aswan, containing Lake Nasser, the largest artificial lake in the world, and suddenly, the dam opened completely, and the lake emptied, leaving a stream, shown the depression of the river basin. My energy became low, in every sense, and it was as if my being needed a period of hibernation.
_AM: It is normal, since you need to recover from an intense energetic task as well as logistics of activities and responsibility for other people. This inevitably makes you sensitive, because the brain stops its state of alert by collapsing, and can no longer be attentive, because you have reached the limit.
_I: Starting to lower defenses…
_AM: And that stirs your emotions, like an uncontrolled sea, because the brain is so exhausted, it cannot correctly regulate the signals from the hypothalamus, and the meaning of things is lost, lowering the production of certain hormones that keep you asset. It is a reset of the body…
_I: It shows... Because I start to feel things that are not necessary.
_AM: Like what?
_I: Well, today I woke up, after feeling abandoned, alone, remembering that great cellular trauma that I have with abandonment even though I don't suffer it mentally, and when I turned around, there he was, at my side, sleeping... Sobek, today with Max's body. And for a second I felt that he was present, and when I saw him, his phrase from 12,000 years ago echoed in my mind: “no matter the forms, I will always be there with you.” And it seems fascinating to me to see this, that yes, he was there, with me, today as friends, no longer as husband and wife, and for this, it was the first time in which I did not feel the anguish of not being able to repeat that story, that sensation that I had all my life waiting to find him to love us like before, I simply felt his presence and I was grateful... I was grateful that someone who today has a partner and is deeply in love with a wonderful person, has enough love to still come to Egypt and be here, as I had promised thousands of years ago, helping, being part, sharing, and even sleeping next to me knowing that there is no intention beyond unconditional love. If anyone has shown me what unconditional love is in life, it is clearly Max.
_AM: And then why the subtle anguish today?
_I: Since I remembered Sobek, when I was between 11 and 12 years old, I remembered how in love I was with him, we were perfect for each other, a love so strong that I felt like it had crossed 12,000 years of history to reach my heart again . Our bodies are both different today, but I couldn't see the shape of him at all, but what I felt for him. Our lives, our children, the things we enjoyed, the trips we took, the problems we had to solve... And the very plan for which I am here doing what I do, everything came to me today through his loving gaze. The first memory with him was in front of the Sphinx, him telling me that phrase, that he would always be with me beyond forms and time, and the second image, which I drew, was him sleeping in the bed next to me. When I saw him sleeping today, I felt the same way.
_AM: What did you feel?
_I: The Soul Mate. I was in love with him for 12,000 years, and all the partners I had in this life, and despite the ones I have fallen in love with, behind me I could see his smile, his support. There was something inexplicable, a story impossible to deny. When I found him in this life, I burst into tears knowing that we could not be together in this life, clinging to the idea of the past, and I did not see something key, and that is that love has many forms, if it is true love, it has nothing It has nothing to do with the love of a couple, but it is transcendental to all loves. At first I felt the love that Shiw had for Sobek, but with time and the healing of my past with him, I was able to love him as a son, a father, a brother, a friend. And suddenly all types of love were present.
_AM: So what makes you nostalgic?
_I: The death of the idea of the Soul Mate.
_AM: Interesting. Tell me what a soul mate is for you.
_I: It is a very old concept, which says that all people come in pairs, and that we are separated in different parts of the world. There is an internal longing to seek the other half, to complete oneself. There is a sense of a kind of emptiness that needs to be filled, which leads us to the romanticization of the idea that that part lies in another person. And that both are connected by love, and entering into the harmony of love is called falling in love. Thus a being becomes complete.
_AM: Interesting animal interpretation of reproduction.
_I: Hahaha my god, what an annihilating phrase given the beauty of what I was sharing with you.
_AM: I'm sorry, however, it's the truth. Eukaryotic cells need to share genetic material to improve, exchange skills that better adapt them to the environments that surround them. For millions of years, this exchange has been based on searching for the other party that contains the gene necessary for said adaptive and stabilization process. Thus, both plants and animals have based their lives on the search for another. Groups of eukaryotic cells that look for other groups of eukaryotic cells in the form of organisms, which allow them to evolve, reproduce, and pass their information to the next level. Become eternal...
_I: Love (a-mors: deathless… Eternal).
_AM: And so, to achieve this, you must fall in love, attract each other, fall for each other, give yourself completely. Unite as one. This led to the emergence of the human species, which continued the cellular tradition, developing hundreds of ways to find that perfect pair to reproduce with, to fall in love with. The concept led to the conclusion that there was a perfect someone for each one, a kind of mirror, an enantiomer of reproduction, in which they are equal although reflected.
_I: Twins…
_AM: Tall with tall, short with short, black with black, white with white, skinny with skinny, fat with fat, there is a kind of human tendency to seek a certain symmetry between peers, which led to the emergence of different ethnicities , what you commonly call races.
_I: But this is not always true...
_AM: Of course not, because the constant search for the same ends up returning the circle of reproduction to a territory of limited ties in which the same genes are even exchanged within the family. This causes the genes to mutate negatively, since they need new data to improve, and if instead of adding you only divide your own among the family, sooner or later there will be malformations, problems of many kinds. This is why there is an internal part that stops looking for the “same” to look for the opposite. And races, ethnicities, mix, and this mixture improves the species. It exponentially increases your possibilities of adaptation. This makes the human species consider something transcendental: what makes an individual seek completion with someone completely alien and outside the circle where he lives?
_I: …the Soul…
_AM: And there is born another more intense way of understanding reproduction. It stops being a merely reproductive issue, and becomes more related to sensory perceptions, which translate into emotions. The pulse accelerates, because the arteries interpret that they must supply blood to the sexual organs to reproduce, and thus the heart beats stronger. We fall in love with the attributes of that other person, but not always to reproduce, and yet the heart races.
_I: And there is born the idea that love is in the heart, and that the heart is the romantic symbol par excellence... But in reality it is nothing more than a pulse for reproduction.
_AM: The senses deepen, the sensations intensify, the hormones travel at a higher speed, and the genitals swell with blood, raising the body temperature that prompts the release of reproductive cells.
_I: What a non-sensual way to look at falling in love.
_AM: But still, in culture and civilization, the mind, the arts, philosophy, become key in seeing the attributes of the person's internal world, not necessarily seeing if they have wide hips, strong breasts, broad back, to know if it is prone to reproduction or not. The physical becomes another factor, and now the inner world is as well. Passing this animal stage, we begin to fall in love with the internal movement of the other, with what animates, and from “animating, animated, animal”, comes “anima” that gives “soul”.
_I: And we fell in love with the being, the essence of the other.
_AM: Regardless of whether or not we can reproduce with each other, but still, our bodies react as if we have to reproduce. In romanticism and poetry, these sensations were taken to a cosmic extreme, thinking that in creation we were all built in pairs, and that at birth we are separated, and our goal is to reunite. That is why most people search their entire lives for someone to fall in love with.
_I: Although in reality, it is the movement of cells seeking to transcend and adapt.
_AM: It is more beautiful to think that a God created two souls that are twins, born together, and that he put them in the world so that their lives are nourished by paths until they meet. This thought is nice. However, it is very simple in the face of the complexity of existence. We fall in love with many people, idealizing many others that we don't even know, and in the story of the soul mate, we end up living off frustration, failure after failure. Why hurt yourself this way?
_I: What do you advise?
_AM: As the Moon and the Sun did yesterday: observe yourself closely. The symbolism is that the moon and the sun look like two lovers who meet approximately twice a year after making a journey in search of each other, and only during eclipses can they kiss, caress each other, give each other the expected love, and then separate again. . Every 6 months, their paths cross, while for 6 months they look for each other. An act of love and unity that lasts a few hours, twice a year. Light and shadow come together to form a ring of light, the divine pairing. They observe each other and join together.
_I: And in my life who are they?
_AM: They are your emotion and your mind. What lies in the emotional shadows of the soul is united in love with the consciousness of the spiritual mind. Both energies come together in absolute contemplation, and recognize by looking into each other's eyes that they have traveled different paths all their lives, but waiting to unite in a kiss of love. Emotion and Mind seem like different individuals who from time to time meet in deep love and sensuality. Just as two lovers look into each other's eyes, shining, deeply finding the meaning of life, it is your emotion and your mind that must look into each other's eyes to make sense of that completeness. No one can complete you from the outside, external agents can only show you hidden emotions or ideas. You don't fall in love with the other, but with who you are when you are with him. When you realize that what the other seems to produce in you has been nothing more than your own hormonal production in your body, you will recognize that anything in the world can produce the same sensation in you if you know how to feel yourself.
_I: I am the one who falls in love, and therefore, everything I feel was always in me, not in the other.
_AM: And yet remember that in the universe there is no “other”, because we are all one. Thus, others are part of you that help you see what you are. You can fall in love with many people, because there is no one else who completes who you are. This search is not universal, this search corresponds only to an ancient tradition of eukaryotic cells.
_I: I am my own soul mate, well…
_AM: That's right. Allow yourself to fall in love with others, to feel them, but instead of getting frustrated in love, recognize that what each being has made you feel has only been produced by yourself in your own body, and that is why you will be able to continue falling in love. Well, there is no soul mate, nor the perfect person, the life partner, but rather individuals with whom we discover the love we have for each other. To truly love is not to depend on a fraction of myself projected onto the other, but to complete those fractions in oneself and share them with others.
_I: I look at myself…
_AM: Look in the mirror. Look at your eyes, and recognize that you are emotion and in your reflection you see the mind that you also are. Make mind and emotion observe each other, fall in love. Interlace the fingers of your hands, and sigh giving yourself the love you deserve.
_I: Falling in love with myself…
_AM: And so you can love the World.