Search - Deny
_I: Recognizing what I think and what I feel is carrying out a deep inner search that is difficult to carry out, because it involves digging very deeply into aspects that we either do not know, or have decided to forget. Perhaps, standing firm in the search and transcending the denial of what we carry inside is one of the great challenges.
_AM: “Search and Denial” are two interesting keys that define the path of transcendence. The history of humanity could be defined in the word “Search”, because since the emergence of this species on Earth, they have been defined by their characteristic as explorers in hundreds of different areas. First in the external world, and consequently in the internal world.
_I: In a way, all life seeks, right?
_AM: That's right. In the first instance, the loss of energy, of balance, makes us unstable, which awakens the need that moves us from our static state towards a state of action, in which the remaining energy is used in the search for more energy that complements the generated vacuum. From the subatomic levels, this exchange of energy occurs due to environmental forces that surround the particles, extracting charge from them, which forces them to seek to compensate for this loss by searching in space for other particles with an equivalent charge on which to find stability. Throughout existence, this pattern is repeated, seeking to obtain particles with energetic charges that balance the structures, such as photons from the Sun. This generates more complex atomic organisms to absorb and capture these photons, which in their chemical conformation begins to create organic structures, that is, flexible, that are capable of adapting to changes in the environment. This creates the first cells, and from there, multicellular organisms. They develop based on searching for light, diversifying into a more accurate search.
_I: What creates the diversity of algae and vegetables…
_AM: And among them, the insects and animals emerged from protozoa cells, which set out in search of plants or other animals. This diversity of the kingdoms of nature leads not only to a search for nutrition, which evolved to be known as nourishment, food; but at the same time a primary need which is to “survive”, that is, to be able to last as long as possible. This generates the development of camouflage, to blend in with the environment, to hide so as not to be eaten by predators.
_I: Hiding as a key to survival, which has given so many shapes to animals and vegetables, colors, strange shapes...
_AM: And that has forced predators to develop their hunting arts, and to pursue, that is, the search and tracking of their prey. Mammals specialized in this type of hunting through tracking, among which hominids not only chased, but also designed group strategies and tools for it. The first humans built nets, spears, axes, boleadoras, boomerangs, that allowed them to hunt, but above all, the intelligence that allowed them to track. Identify the presence of animals by their footprints, their smells, branches and leaves, hair, the change in the landscape, the climate. The analysis led them to develop their peripheral gaze, and create mental maps that they were able to share with others through communication and tradition.
_I: And we became Seekers.
_AM: Nomads. Adventurers, travelers, who passed the search as part of the cultural tradition, and went even beyond the horizon, using their imagination. They were not only looking for food, safety and land, but they were looking for dreams, ideas and desires. The hope of finding food made the mind develop the ability to imagine the banquets, to imagine the houses they would have, to imagine the lands where they would live...
_I: And they created Paradise.
_AM: A magical place behind the last horizon, an idyllic place, perfect in every way. Paradise comes from the Avestan “pairi daeza” which means around the mud walls, which defined an artificial garden surrounded by a wall. It refers to the gardens of the ancient civilizations of the Persian region, orchards guarded between desert walls, which designed the idea that in the middle of the desert of life, you can find an oasis of eternal abundance. In the physical world, nomads sought these oases, while in the world of ideas, they sought to find that oasis in the heavens, the eternal oasis. Thus arose the Spiritual Search, for which there were many paths to follow, and each one tried to find the most direct way to this source of life. God was related to the water of the oases and fountains in the middle of the desert, Heaven to him with a calm place with food and peace. The paths built ideas that led to religions, philosophies and sciences. These paths promoted the search towards the arts, the inner world, technology, politics, cultural and social.
_I: Both physically, emotionally and mentally we became tireless seekers.
_AM: Looking for the end in something eternal. Therein lies the infinite capacity of this search. Search comes from the Germanic languages “busk”, which gave the English word “bush” and the Spanish word “forest”. Search is a French-speaking construction that came to Spanish through Catalan, replacing “velle” (which gave the idea of watching over something), with “boscare” or “bosquear”, meaning: go through a forest chasing something. In terms of hunting, the areas of northern Europe were full of trees, which meant that discovering the prey, the animal or the fruits, required searching among the trees. In English, the verb is “search,” which comes from a mispronunciation of the Latin verb “circus,” meaning “around,” it is the periphery of something, which gave us the words circumscribe, circle, circle, and circus, as well as “recercar”, which is to go back around, which in English gave “research”, referring to surrounding a perimeter to analyze an area.
_I: So the search is related first of all to a need, and then to a will. Where do we really search from?
_AM: Few do it voluntarily. Mostly from necessity.
_I: Why is that?
_AM: Where do you intend to go with your search?
_I: I don't know... Because, I could tell you that my purpose is to ensure that the Earth finds a harmonious system that allows it to live in balance, but, it is not really a goal because the transformation is constant...
_AM: And you, where do you want to go beyond humanity?
_I: At this point in the journey... I'm not sure, or maybe... I don't even think there's anywhere to go.
_AM: Well, there's the key. After so many steps you are realizing it. When one searches knowing that there is no place to reach, one searches from the will, not trying to find the fruit or the prey, but to know every corner of the forest. When you search with a goal, with the desire to reach the end of things, or with the impetus to discover something to satisfy your body, soul or spirit, you do so out of necessity. Well, biologically you are programmed to satisfy yourself, satisfy basic needs, which imply reaching an end, a paradise. The search we carry out in our lives is conditioned by family, cultural, religious and social mandates, and is normally not intended to discover, but to unmask.
_I: What's the difference?
_AM: When you discover, you do it with the surprise factor of learning, because you take out what covers something, without looking for what that something was, and therefore generates surprise and understanding. In the case of unmasking, what we experience is the need to discover something with the expectation of seeing what is behind it, considering that which covered it as something harmful, as an enemy that prevented me from seeing it, as wanting to blame the shell of banana for not letting me see the banana. And if the banana was wilted, or green, I will immediately go to the extreme of this search.
_I: To deny the result.
_AM: Exactly. Denying is the action of rejecting the possibility of something, the nullity of a result, origin or state. What I was looking for made me see something I was not willing to see. Inquiry into the external world makes us discover things that are ugly to our illusions. Think about it, with something very simple. We humans seek the truth, trying to be liars to religions and governments for hiding truths from us and deceiving us with false data and gods; and yet, at home, we make children believe that Santa Claus comes at Christmas, or that the Tooth Fairy or the Tooth Fairy leaves money in exchange for teeth that fall out, or that there are Three Wise Men who bring gifts in exchange for grass and water… Or, when a child asks what is happening, we usually say: “nothing, everything is fine”, even though it is not, and many things are happening. What difference is there in the deception that people experience in the first years of their lives to that which they experience as adults? Why do we feel offended when we are told that God is a human cultural fantasy, but it seems like a fun game to make a child believe that Santa Claus exists?
_I: I guess it's for the illusion, to maintain the children's enthusiasm... right?
_AM: Illusion exists without the need for deception and lies. Perhaps for an adult, the idea of that childhood fantasy is a playful story that sustains the illusion in childhood, but nevertheless, it is the basis that shows how every tradition becomes a betrayal. Which will make his life full of deceptions, and he will not know how to differentiate them, deluding himself with religions, politics, and other types of fantasies, without being able to discern. You understand? Illusion lives in art, in reading, in movies, in experiments, in adventures, in creative and infinite imagination, not in deception and lies. The idea of holding this type of attitude towards children only leads us to build an illusory civilization of mistrust and lies, in which a person will consider that a white lie that makes everyone feel happy is better than telling a truth.
_I: Sure… I understand now.
_AM: It is these actions that embody in our psyche the idea of believing a lie to make us feel good, living in the illusion, since in this way, we will feel better, believing our own lies, which are sometimes unconscious and not premeditated. Thus, when it comes to the external search we find truths that we did not want to see, and in the internal search we discover hidden things about ourselves that we would have preferred to remain that way. And that is where Denial comes in as a counterproductive process. The Tree doesn't let you see the Forest.
_I: Oh… How to see it?
_AM: First of all, recognizing that the forest is eternal, and that there is no end. Secondly, recognize the things you deny about yourself, and those you deny about the world. What are the lies that you believed that have disappointed you? What are the lies that you still believe and know are lies? Where do you search from: from the will or from the need? Be honest, because you don't have to prove anything to anyone, you just have to help yourself. What do you look for or expect from the world, and what do you look for or hope to find in yourself?
_I: We are full of things that we deny about ourselves and the world... When we say “I'm not like that,” or when we deny situations in the world for an ideological or partisan reason. This implies doing a very deep review, and above all skipping the denial stage, because how do you know what you deny if you deny it?
_AM: Friends. For this we have real friends. Take advantage of the energy of Gemini to remind yourself of something fundamental: what you don't see in yourself you see in others, and that's why we have friends, to complete the looks that we can't observe. Real friends are those who with love can help you see what you deny in yourself, and you will know it when your answer is: “I'm not like that, I don't do that.” Pay attention to these responses, because therein lies the response mechanism that blocks the inner search, that numbs your potentials hidden in the forest.
_I: That makes sense… Yes.
_AM: Make your list, what do you seek and what do you deny? Ask, investigate, discover. The key this month is to learn, discover, study, share, communicate what is inside and outside.
_I: I am ready to accept what I deny, and to open myself to an eternal search.
_AM: Only way to find yourself.