Plethora
_I: When I visited Israel in 2018 to film a part of “The Rememberer”, one of the sites I visited was Mount Tabor, known as the Mount of Transfiguration, near Nazareth. There, we were going to film an explanation about what the Transfiguration means as a philosophical concept, but the audio equipment began to fail, and I lost concentration. I started to feel bad, I felt lost, like I was doing something wrong or wrong. Suddenly a strange feeling came over me, I felt ridiculous. I thought: “What am I doing? Am I really being a documentary filmmaker? Am I exposing my face for what? Am I willing to do this?”… Many thoughts that terrified and angered me at the same time. I took off the microphones and without saying anything I went down the mountain, until I lost sight of the film crew. I sat among the trees and ferns, near a cow that was grazing there.
_AM: You would have wanted to be her, right?
_I: Sometimes it seems that being an animal is easier, because one only focuses on survival and not on transcendence... As humans, and especially those of us who are on the path of Consciousness, transcendence seems fundamental. And I was doing it, recording myself for posterity, telling my life, and my way of thinking. But for that moment the idea of survival invaded me... I don't know if I was willing to sustain the weight of the world's gaze, to sustain so many projections on me, and above all, I don't know if I was ready to generate said projections. Well, what others see in us, in a certain way is generated by us. I wondered to what extent people's return to me would be real or an echo of what I generated. To what extent my sharing expanded my Self, my Ego, and to what extent I shared my Am, my Essence. From where, the hate or love that people would express to me would be original, and to what extent would it be a mirror of what I projected. I felt too much responsibility, because I recognized that it would be impossible to be neutral. No matter what I did, my ego and my essence would fluctuate like the waves of the sea, like a cold and warm current, and the whirlwind that would attract others towards me would be caused by both forces… But I wanted a calm sea. At that moment I considered leaving everything, keeping quiet... Not continuing...
_AM: And what happened?
_I: …He appeared… The King of Justice, or in neutral words: the Axis of Balance.
_AM: Melki Tsedek. “Who are you to judge what the Divine has manifested in you?”
_I: He told me that he was placing a guilt on me that did not yet exist, and that it would only be real if I made it my present truth. He guided me down the mountain to a cave. The director and cameraman followed me like a National Geographic film crew, like someone following a deer through the woods to make a wildlife documentary. In silence and stealth. They entered the cave with me, into the darkness. There I sat down, and took a stick that I found, like a cane. Some time later I learned that they filmed that moment of connection and even put it in the documentary, at least a fraction of everything that happened, which is probably one of the most important of the entire documentary.
_AM: The mission conversation…
_I: “The only thing that makes us be a Larva or a Butterfly is a change of perspective, but you are both… The I and the Am are just a Verb. It is inevitable to live unconsciousness and draw nourishment from the roots of the world, in darkness, perdition, conflict, illness. Stopping, getting lost, distrusting, getting frustrated, stuffing oneself with emotions, is inevitable... In the same way that larvae and worms must be filled with experiences, incessant, until the moment they explode, and at that moment, when they reach the maximum of unconsciousness. , the crisis occurs, I become an idiot, a cunt, useless, waiting. But nevertheless that is where the magic is happening. Where everything I ate, swallowed… It is transfigured.” He told me that we do not belong to anything or anyone, that it is just us with the world, and that the world will do to us what we wish of it. It is only enough to accept ourselves for the world to accept us, and my conflict was not what the world said about me, but what I thought about myself.
_AM: You were afraid to be what you came to be. What you are…
_I: He told me that right now I was in the idiot stage... Cocoon, pupa... Fearing the outside world. And that he could only spread my wings when he was ready to face myself, to recognize me, not as different, but as I really was. And then, I wouldn't be afraid of what they might see in me, because I wouldn't be afraid of myself.
_AM: This was the moment of your Atonement.
_I: What is that?
_AM: Comes from the Latin “ex” (go towards, go out towards) and “pius” (honest, virtuous), plus the suffix “-tio” which means action. That is to say: take the action of moving towards honesty. In the Last Judgment, according to legend or myth, Melki Tsedek, which means the King of Justice, will judge people through the confession of their errors to honestly enter the Kingdom of Heaven. What this means is that only those who have been transfigured will be able to see the real essence of the cosmos, those who have passed through the law of the Axis, who have found their own coherence. Those who feel full of spirit, soul and body.
_I: When is that Final Judgment?
_AM: Always... Well, the cosmos has no end. The end refers to a limit, the echo of an action, the return of a movement, the fall or rise of a wave curve. Each step is the construction of coherence. And honesty is not projected towards others, but towards oneself. The greatest honesty you can achieve is what you give yourself, being honest with what you think, feel and do. And if you find honesty in it, you will find yourself fulfilled.
_I: That's what I felt after your conversation, which refined my three bodies... I felt Wholeness.
_AM: Plenitude is the quality of being full, but with a slightly deeper vision, which leads to an inner abundance that encompasses every aspect of your being, making you feel full. People tend to fill themselves with external things, like the larva, the caterpillar. Devouring everything in its path, knowledge, data, emotions, relationships, sensations, food, objects... Everything external is a karmic process, of inevitable learning. And when you overload yourself with things, you have the feeling of being full; and even if your soul remains empty, you can feel it, that is why you need to continue filling it. When you eat a lot of chocolate, you are trying to fill a void of love. When you eat a lot of fats and flours, you are trying to fill an economic space for fear of dying from scarcity. And some eat people, emotionally, through relationships, looking for something in others that they cannot fill within. Some accumulate like Diogenes, surrounding themselves with garbage, while others fill themselves with studies, data, information for fear of not knowing, believing that emptiness is almost a sin. Thus, they fill themselves with external things that only generate weight. An unnecessary burden that sinks people. That's where you feared losing yourself, sunk by the burden of others, by the projection of believing that you are not enough and need more to please others, when in reality you only sought to please yourself by making yourself feel good when it came to expressing yourself, like “how well I did”, patting yourself on the back, yourself.
_I: Egocentrism…
_AM: And attachment. That is not living Full, that is living Full. Full of things that are not yours but that you make yours for fear of simply being what you are. And that is what a cocoon does to you, the caterpillar that devours, in unconsciousness believing that this will make it whole... Now, this path is not bad. Well, the caterpillar will only be a butterfly for having immersed itself in said unconsciousness and said weight. Without it, he would never have been able to transfigure himself and fly lightly through the air.
_I: So why do I notice a certain negative connotation in living from that point of view?
_AM: Because there are human caterpillars that do not know their purpose of being butterflies, and never stop eating, and die on the ground because they cannot support their own weight.
_I: I understand…
_AM: Transfiguration can only occur when the caterpillar stops seeking to fill itself and recognizes that it must feel full. Plenitude is lived from the Heart, from balance. A plethoric, complete being no longer seeks to be satisfied with the external, but rather to enrich itself with the internal. That's where the magic, the potential, arises, where you transform the world...
_I: When I left the cave, I got lost in the forest on purpose, feeling this fullness. I could feel my three bodies united, happy... And so I found the cameramen trying to film an impossible sunset, since it was cloudy with a sadly wintery tone. I remember feeling omnipotent, in my fullness I could feel everything, as if the world were just an extension of my body just as I was an extension of the world. “Bad day to film this, but hey, we already put in the timelapse,” the director told me. "What do you need?" I asked in a way in which they did not recognize me as Matías, because it was obvious that I was not myself… “Magic…” he told me. I nodded and walked a few steps forward. I extended my hands flat toward the sky, and turned them gently as his would have grabbed the clouds, pushing the sky up and the earth down. At that moment, without ever seeing the sun, its apparent rays emerged in the distance, beginning to dye the sky pink from the furthest distance to above us (the photo in this post). I turned to them and said, “Is this okay?” They both looked at me as if they had seen a ghost, not knowing what to say.
_AM: Hahahaha, that's what's full. Unlike the incessant search, he does not wait, but rather he does, because he knows that there is nothing outside that he needs, since everything outside is part of himself. This is called Plethora, the full state of abundance of being.
_I: At that moment I felt everything, as if I myself were the clouds, and the pulse of the sun was the beat of my heart... Plenitude is felt when you feel part of the whole and yet you don't need any of it. And at that moment I understood what Melki Tsedek told me, transfiguration is the magic of converting unconsciousness into consciousness, it is recognizing that outside you will see only what you are, not what you hope to be. Therefore, I must be what I am.
_AM: “I Am who I Am.”
_I: Yesterday at the pyramid, I could feel it. Lying on the sarcophagus, I felt like that caterpillar. The voice of Heavenly Father resounded saying “Die,” and in that instant I felt like I broke. I cried like I don't remember having cried in many years, because I cried for everything and at the same time for nothing, there was no specific pain, I could only find these words: “I am afraid of being who I am”… And there I faced this fear inside my chrysalis , in my moment of being a dick, going through my uselessness. I let that part of Matías die, I let that fear die. I saw in the eyes of the child that I was, that child who was happy and cheerful that at 12 years old received the weight of all his memory, the responsibility of 12,000 years of history, and stopped being happy. I looked at him and said, look at me, we've made it, I've gotten through it, you can be happy again. And then my future looked at me, and in my death I smiled. “Don't be afraid to be who you are, don't make the mistake of forgetting yourself,” I told myself. And all that weight that I felt, all those things and stories that I had fed and filled myself with until now, smeared with fear and responsibility, became plenitude. My heart felt light, like never before... I felt freedom, I felt that it is not necessary to explain what I am or who I am to anyone, that it is only enough for one person to know: myself.
_AM: Welcome to Life.
_I: I Am Life…
_AM: I Am the Light…
_I: I Am the Way…
_AM: I Am the Truth…
_I: I Am Love…
_AM: I Am Plenitude…
_I: I am who I am...