Subconscious
_I: “It's night, the sun has been covered with its hands”… I couldn't stop repeating that day before fainting. And today it comes back to my mind. I went to the pyramid, and I lost strength again, and almost consciousness, on the verge of fainting. Right now I feel weak, as if I would fall on the keyboard at any moment...
_AM: You need to succumb to the Subconscious beyond the Unconscious.
_I: How?
_AM: Getting lost instead of looking for logic.
_I: What is the difference between Subconscious and Unconscious?
_AM: According to Psychoanalysis, none.
_I: So?
_AM: Let's get to it. There are two major divisions in 19th century psychology: the Supraconscious and the Subconscious. That is, a thin line of consciousness is drawn in which its different states are established, being below (sub) and above (supra) this line. The typical image to understand this idea is that of an iceberg, a huge piece of ice that has broken off from glaciers or polar caps and wanders alone through the sea and ocean. In the same way that when you put an ice cube in a glass, it floats due to the air it contains inside, leaving a small part above the surface while the majority, due to its weight, is under water. ; An iceberg also leaves a small fraction of what it really is above, while the large part of it is hidden below.
_I: …What's most dangerous… It's what sank the Titanic.
_AM: That's right, the great danger of an iceberg is the bottom, which is more than 80% of the total size of the piece of ice, hidden below the limit of the water surface. This image perfectly defines the idea of the “supraconscious” as what we can see, touch, with which one can relate, while the “subconscious” is everything that we do not see, that we cannot touch and that we cannot We have an idea that it exists. Towards the end of the 19th century and the beginning of the 20th century (1900), the decision was made to no longer use these terms in psychoanalysis, as they generated confusion with the simple terms of the Conscious and the Unconscious. The Supraconscious tries to define the factors that we do not control in our life but that bring order to it, such as inspiration, ideas, the functioning of our body, they are the ones that give it logic and chew the information previously so that the Conscious use. The Subconscious is everything that is hidden and that implies disorder, the unresolved, inner chaos that we deny, therefore, psychology decided to call this concept “lack of consciousness”, naming it “Unconscious”. For this reason, the word Subconscious disappears from psychology to remain only in the most spiritual visions. But certain values are denied here.
_I: Which ones?
_AM: Take into account that the Conscious is the thin film of water that divides what is below from what is above. From the vision of Psychoanalysis it would be said that what appears above is the Supraconscious and what is below is the Unconscious. But this denies something fundamental: the context of the iceberg. We could say that the Being is the Iceberg, and that small percentage that appears on the surface is the Conscious aspect of the being, while the rest hidden under the waters is what we call the Unconscious. Now, taking the context, the air that surrounds the Conscious is the Supraconscious, while the water that surrounds the Unconscious is the Subconscious.
_I: Oh, I see it now. It's true, we always tend to get confused about the location of states of consciousness, now I have it clearer.
_AM: Having said this, you can understand that the Being, with its Conscious part and its Unconscious part, are supported by a Supraconscious that brings order and a Subconscious that hides chaos.
_I: The superconscious… Is that you?
_AM: Oh, no. It is true that the term Supraconscious can be confused with the idea of the Higher Self, but it is not the same. The Supraconscious is a quality that incorporates what I am. It goes through the emotional, biological and mental. Managing the central nervous system with its parasympathetic and sympathetic mechanisms. It maintains homeostasis in your being, while the Subconscious comes to disarm said homeostasis through the pressure of the ocean.
_I: Why are you doing this?
_AM: It's your nature. As the water exerts pressure on the bodies inside it, the subconscious exerts the same force, hiding in the abysmal depths what you do not want to see on the surface. Dead animals, sunken ships, lots of garbage. But also many lost treasures. The subconscious contains the unconscious, that is, that part of you that you cannot see, which moves your life at its mercy, depending on invisible forces that take you to one side or another, without recognizing the direction in which you are going. The unconscious is the ignorance of the things you have in you, not seeing what was always in front of you, and within you. The Subconscious, then, is a much broader space that goes beyond you, that surrounds you and that contains data, memories of many more lives than the one you have today. If your body is an iceberg, you will recognize that the conscious and the unconscious live in you, in your cells, in the memory of your body. But the Supraconscious and the Subconscious encompass much more, they involve the contexts, the signals, the perception of the world, the data that lie in all things and that contain you in a specific place and time. Like thousands of other icebergs, you share in the Subconscious, and therefore, its force interacts, connecting many people, individuals, in different places and at different times.
_I: Therefore, the force of the subconscious moves us all, and records everything, keeps each situation in itself, and sends it to the bottom of its ocean to protect it. How do I connect with my Subconscious?
_AM: Eliminating limits, opening the imagination. Being infinite, transcending the moral and ethical judgment that surrounds your cultural mind. Information is stored in the subconscious that you will not understand if you see it with the eyes of your conscious world. You must allow yourself to dream while awake, to dream deeply when sleeping. You must walk through life as if you were in a sea, where everything is imagination and is connected by the waves. Imagine awake, living.
_I: The idea of walking through life as if it were a musical makes sense to me, in which each situation has a specific music according to what is happening...
_AM: And anything that happens can awaken thousands of data that you don't have present. "Pigeon".
_I: What?
_AM: Rabbit…
_I: Home…
_AM: Paloma…
_I: Go back.
_AM: Why?
_I: When I was a child, my grandfather brought me pigeons from his fancier brother, and every day he released a pigeon that returned home. And the rabbit, it is in me the pain of losing the house, because a rabbit died the day they denied us the purchase of our own house...
_AM: Route, paper, sky… Fire.
_I: The path of the Dragon terrifies me. I'm afraid that when I start it the same thing will happen again... That someone will die, that my friends will abandon me, that I will distance myself from my mother, that a project will fall apart, that I will fail in my mission...
_AM: Turtle, baby, headphones.
_I: …My favorite animal is the turtle… I must go slower, step by step, respecting the moments of hibernation, and perhaps, that slowness is demanded of me by the idea of wanting to be a father… I must learn to listen to those silences better…
_AM: Planet… Pencil… Glass.
_I: Telling my story... I always see the glass half empty, much to do for this world, the only place I consider my home.
_AM: Dream…
_I: I am very tired…
_AM: It's night, and the sun has been covered with his hands. The white girl with albino hair turns her back on me…
_I: There is a whale that howls, like a bull, it approaches me among colors that smell like honey. I feel cloying, like my mouth is full of beehive. The sound of bees underwater is terrifying, but it makes pretty vines bloom. Although... They entangle me, I can't get out to breathe. An otter brings me air... And there I see the girl on her back, wet. She's leaving... is she leaving?
_AM: Life reaches her like a river flow in water…
_I: The sun is over the water, but it is covered with its hands. I see the domes of the amphibious city shine. Kolenos swim around... It's so nice to see the hands of the sun. I feel like I'm falling asleep... Am I dying?
_AM: Yes. You are dying, as we said, at 33 years old. This is your death, Matías. You say goodbye?
_I: Is it worth saying goodbye?
_AM: Are you afraid to do it…
_I: Pigeons can't swim. How to return home? Does my house really exist? I don't have a home... Where do I go?
_AM: That's why you don't want to leave here...
_I: I have nowhere to go. Today is Independence Day in my country... But every day I feel less and less about my country... It hurts... I don't want to go back. My home is Africa. It is the Mediterranean. I'm afraid of being alone, my mother too, we have the same fear... But we both want to be alone. I'm afraid to go back, but only because I don't know why to go. I love you all... But I'm afraid of losing you if I say it.
_AM: Why would you lose them?
_I: I always lost them… Don't you see? They have died, the ones I loved are gone. And those who are... When will they leave?
_AM: You are afraid of losing them... But the biggest fear is losing yourself in them.
_I: To be or not to be... I am for me, or I am for them. Are we really us, or are we what others want us to be? I feel that I cannot be free of what I want, to make others happy in how I should be. That scares me... Repeat it again, see this again... Many have already left. I don't want to lose more...
_AM: They don't belong to you... People don't belong to anyone...
_I: Then let them release me too. I'm in cobwebs... Tired of stretching, tired of waiting for the spider to come and devour me. She doesn't even listen to me. It's night...
_AM: But the clouds peek out at the sun.
_I: Shut up. Shut up, shut up... Shhh, silence... Listen to the silence. The whale howls like the wolf. I see it coming in the distance... I'm afraid it will swallow me. Behind you can see the lost city, beautiful, brilliant. Taabathar, shining from the high Blues, are lost in the cobalt of the sea. I want to paint them, but I don't have brushes... Watercolors maybe...
_AM: You ramble… You dream.
_I: Shut up, and let me die in peace. Give me my independence. Motherland, you are now free, let me be free... Although... I don't want to be free... I am afraid of being free.
_AM: Why?
_I: Because I will be alone... Abandoned, sad... Dispossessed of humanity... Who would want a wanderer? I'm hungry... Hungry to fill myself, and without others I feel empty... Fractals, I see parts of me bleeding on the floor... I sigh, but I don't even join them... I'm afraid of abandoning myself, and yet _I: Yes... I don't want to be alone... And whoever I expect to hug me doesn't hug me. Why is so complicated?
_AM: Because everything is here, and you see everything. That is why the conscious is simple, focused, determined, because it is less, it searches less, it feels less, the conscious knows what it is looking for...
_I: I don't know... What am I looking for...? I don't know... I want to sleep, that's it, sleep and not wake up from this Eternal Sleep.
_AM: Your dream is your awakening…
_I: .. . It's night... .
. shhhhhhh... everything speaks to me, but I don't want to listen to it...
It bothers me… why?
No.
_AM: Everything is perfect.
_I: Look at me. Like a fetus in the hand of the sea... That's how I feel, floating in the immensity of a dark ocean. At night… The stars are reflected. As in your eyes that give me memories... Oh, mercy on my soul, I acclaim! A kiss... Just that... One. And that's how I fall asleep. I'm tired... What's going to happen?
_AM: You are saying goodbye, leaving behind whoever arrived first. It hurts you to have to leave, it hurts you to have to stay. It hurts you to have to be an adult, it hurts you to stop being a child... It hurts you that it hurts your mother, it hurts you that mothers reject you, it hurts you not to know where your home is, or where you are going... It hurts you to have to be free and independent...
_I: It hurts… My heart.
_AM: And that exhausts you.
_I: What do I give to the world from this deplorable state of neurosis?
_AM: To yourself, you give yourself as you are. You are enough. Well, you are an Ocean...
_I: I float in it. What a tragedy that is so simple. What a talk solves is an eternity for the silence of a hurt soul. Why throw yourself into agony?
_AM: Well, the treasures are at the bottom of the sea. And reaching them hurts. You're reaching the bottom... And that's why you're dying.
_I: I'm tired... Incoherent images and ideas surround me...
_AM: Memories of the subconscious. There are the keys that support your being. You have no choice but to immerse yourself…
_I: I'm sleepy... I'm tired...
_AM: You are dying... And it is time to finally allow yourself to die. It's time to let go, and claim your independence. Die again and again.
_I: I die…
_AM: Become the Eternal Dreamer.