Identify
_I: When we talk about denying, a doubt arises: how do I know what I'm denying? Because, precisely, if I deny it, it's because I'm not seeing it or recognizing it, which makes it difficult for me to see clearly.
_AM: That's why the Universe has the natural system of mirrors. Do you remember what you studied in biology about Enantiomers?
_I: They are mirrored molecules, with exactly the same arrangement of atoms that form them, but precisely reversed, in a mirrored form. One is called molecule L and the other molecule D. One is active and biologically useful, and the other is not, quite the opposite. So it's important to differentiate between them because one can harm you and the other can help you. It's almost like an organic trap.
_AM: What you deny and what you affirm are often the Soul's Enantiomers. They are the same, but mirrored, and precisely because they are so similar to what you affirm, you don't see them clearly, because it's like a mirror, where you recognize yourself and say, "it's me," when in reality, you're completely reversed.
_I: So to recognize what I deny, I just have to see what is directly opposite to me, and there I can see my reflection. Which doesn't mean it's my opposite, but complementary.
_AM: Or worse, you see it so much like you that you don't realize what you deny in your life. This often happens with most relationships. Many couples are exactly opposite to each other, but precisely being so different makes them look like mirrors, which gives the feeling that they are the same. So, many couples live a toxic or unhealthy life, almost parasitic, thinking they are with someone similar, when in reality, they are only with their opposite. Denial.
_I: It has happened to me...
_AM: I know...
_I: ... So what we have to learn to do most of all is to identify correctly.
_AM: That's where we had to get to. Identify. This verb comes from the Latin "idem" which means "the same," and the suffix "ficar (-fy in English)," which refers to "do, or put," that is, "do the same." What it suggests is being able to find similarities instead of differences. We usually put denials in the mental folder of differences or opposites when in reality, what we deny are enantiomers of our way of life, what we believe is useless for our lives but share 100% of the same content from which our life is formed. Thus arises the concept of "identity," that is "idem" (the same) and "ente" (being). Identity refers to what I assimilate as my own being, where I recognize the similar and make it my own. Identity is related to the attributes of personality, which constitute the patterns that make up what one is here and now.
_I: So, instead of looking for what I deny in external things that I reject, I will find it in the things that I consider part of me, and that I accept or recognize in myself. It's the opposite of what I would have thought.
_AM: Because humans still believe that the Universe is dual, thinking that two forces that had never been seen meet in the middle of nowhere, and they call them Evil and Good, God and the Devil, Positive and Negative. Well, no. They are the same molecule arising from the same essence and atoms, simply arranged in the form of a mirage.
_I: Like the knees. Both are the same, and yet for one to move forward, it must exert force and pressure backward to support the weight of the body, while the other flexes and rises subtly to take a step forward.
_AM: Exactly. The leg that bears the weight back is the one that will initially hurt, feel the weight of history, the pain of the past. It will become the idea of rigidity and structure, and maybe my mind will consider it an anchor in the density pulling me towards the shadows. While the other will be associated with progress, lightness, subtlety, ascension, and evolution, with lightness and divinity. But one without the other keeps us stable, without movement. When your attention focuses on the leg that advances, consider the one left behind as the past that must be denied, something that does not belong to your path towards transformation and consciousness; but nevertheless, what you are denying is what gives you the strength to achieve it.
_I: How could I understand it?
_AM: For example, in history, there would not have been scientific advancement and development of arts and sciences without the repression of religion. The driving force of the past concept of religion and spirituality allowed a revolution of frustrated minds that drove the search for new forms and initiated the progress of the last 5 centuries (not to mention the last 2). Science and free thought denied religion, and that was their progress. But, precisely denying it and not recognizing it as that pillar has turned science into a new faith that largely positions itself as a religion, defensive of its irrefutable scientistic arguments. Enantiomers of civilization. But in a family, the same thing happens when you deny the attitudes of a mother or a father, and refuse to be like them, by not seeing and recognizing it in time, you end up "identifying" with their ways of being. That is, you imitate them, reflexively. And it becomes part of you, a part that you fail to see because you are rejecting it. Thus, observe well what you reject in your life, analyze it, and you will see in it the similarities with you.
_I: My identity is made up of all the positive and negative mirrors in my life. So, to recognize many of the things that I can't see, I have to relive them... Could this be something like a Family Constellation?
_AM: This artistic and theatrical therapy of roles, as well as psychomagic, is one of the ways in which you can see and analyze consciously everything that you deny or can't see. Putting yourself in the place of all the agents of your family will allow you to see the patterns in common. Always start with what's closest, with your earthly family, parents, uncles, grandparents, and identify what emotions and feelings you associate with them.
_I: Is that the task?
_AM: Yes. Write down the question: "What emotions do I identify with my family?" and underneath, make a list for your mother, another for your father, and one for each close family member you have direct relationships with: uncles, grandparents, siblings... When you write down all the emotions you recognize in them, see if there are the emotions you deny in yourself.
_I: I made the lists, and something caught my attention a lot, there are some words that are repeated in almost all: resentment and prejudice. Both concepts I don't feel in myself, I always denied having them, even my friends and close ones often tell me that I am the least resentful person they know because I forgive instantly, and it is because of this that I don't have prejudices because I don't get defensive about a possible repetition of the same. However, when I saw that these words were repeated in all my relatives, I began to notice that it was something that I denied, and I realized that in a way, this was in me; and that by denying it, I was only becoming naive, someone who doesn't remember and doesn't correct their mistakes. Furthermore, I could see that to not have resentment, I preferred to forget or distance myself from people, because if I saw them again, I would act as if nothing had happened. That is, what in them was an impediment and defense in life that seems absurd to me, in me had become an insecurity. It was the same thing, the same emotion or feeling, just mirrored.
_AM: So now you understand that by becoming aware of this, the reason you denied it in yourself is because of fear of becoming like them and repeating the same, and accepting it doesn't mean you'll become resentful or prejudiced, but you'll know how to take the positive from these aspects: being more careful in your life and being judicious.
_I: I understand.
_AM: That's why identifying is recognizing your identity. Biologically, Identity is anchored in the anus, because it's where the human "settles" or affirms itself in one place. "To settle," "To put your ass in the chair," "To affirm oneself," "Don't touch my ass," "They broke my ass" (with all due respect for the word), are all expressions related to how important identity is for people and how fragile it is. That's why, regarding identity and recognitions, humans position themselves in denial and defensiveness. What they say about you, what you don't see in yourself, is all in the reflections of what you do see in yourself or in others. Observe what you see in others and pay attention to what others see in you, and you will see your reflections, you will know that even if you don't want to, the idea that others project onto you has shaped your current identity.
_I: So, what you just said leaves me thinking something... Normally, in spiritual and consciousness paths, it is often said that no one can determine what we are, that we must focus on ourselves, not look outside, and discover everything within us. And you are telling me just the opposite. How would that be?
_AM: Enantiomers of Consciousness. What spirituality basically does is the following example: you have a dirty house, the floor full of garbage and dust, but instead of seeing where the scattered garbage is, you make an altar to the broom and contemplate it and meditate in front of it smiling thinking the following: "if I am a broom, there will be no garbage...". Do you understand?
_I: Haha, yes, good example. That is to say, it's okay to know that it's the broom that will allow me to clean the floor, but to clean it I have to identify where the dust is.
_AM: And the dust, my friend, came from you and from all those around you, because the dust is nothing more than dead skin cells, that is, from your genetics, from yours, and from those in your life. That's why, analyze who you invite into your house, who lives with you, what they leave in you, in your floor, in your life, and you will see the mirror of what you accept in it. Whoever you let into your house is because you accept them, and it's the same one who brings the dust that you will have to clean someday. No one is separate, you can't say that this is just your inner work, because the external is part of you too. Before closing your eyes and looking at the dust you hid under the rug of your subconscious, you have to look at the dust around you scattered on the floor of your unconscious. The broom is the conscious, but don't make an altar to it, get to work and clean your room once and for all.
_I: Understood!
_AM: Identify, evaluate your identity, recognize the mirrors of your environment, write down the emotional and sentimental roles of those closest and linked to you, and there observe what you can't see in yourself.
_I: My identity is composed of what I identify with and its mirrors.
_AM: Because if everything is One, the polarities are not different from each other, but identical.