Denial
_I: The more I analyze the mental and emotional aspects that constitute me, the more I realize everything I have been denying in myself.
_AM: Because we return to the same thing as always: survival. Remember that your being comes from a long history of biological evolution and adaptation to a hostile environment. Since the first single-celled organism emerged, there has been an incessant struggle to obtain resources and survive in a constantly changing environment. This meant that during the transformation process of more complex multicellular organisms, each of the cells had a fundamental mission, which ranged from defending the general system to allowing survival in the greatest number of times and spaces possible. Thus, cells, seeking to save energy so as not to die, seek convenience, comfort, security. Therefore, everything that is uncomfortable, negative, and painful will be avoided as much as possible, since the transformation to overcome these circumstances involves expenditure of energy that the body is not willing to waste.
_I: This is why if a being cannot escape a toxic and painful cycle or environment, it will become its natural environment, which makes many people repeat or look for uncomfortable situations to feel good... Right?
_AM: Exactly. And on one side or the other, it is simply a reaction of the body to cling to security. Security often has nothing to do with being well, but with what is known. Change is what costs energy, what breaks the structure and makes us feel death. A negative situation that is repeated over and over again is a stable situation for the simple fact that the cells know what their mechanical responses are; They can foresee, and that gives security and calm. This generates vicious cycles in living beings, not only in humans, but in all of nature. Energy saving is something that allows the union of atoms and the formation of stable molecules that shape the entire reality we see; It is the basis on which all existing organisms are based. Stability is precisely the ability to be stable, to be and remain, since changing disrupts order, transforming generates crises and enormous energy expenditure, for which, if very necessary, a lot of energy must be saved. For this reason, nature, when it needs to transcend in the form of metamorphosis or reproduction, saves and consumes a lot of energy, eating and sleeping as long as possible, as the plant and animal kingdoms do.
_I: And the human?
_AM: Does the same. In essence, he eats and sleeps, works to survive, and tries not to face situations that require too much personal effort to achieve something. The less effort, the greater stability.
_I: Something that society has told us is bad.
_AM: It's not bad... But it's boring and involutive.
_I: Boring, I can attest to that. But why involutive?
_AM: Evolution comes from the Latin words “ex” (to go out, out) and “volvere” (to go around). The concept is, then: to move forward many times, rolling, unwrapping what was wrapped or rolled up, which gives rise to the word “Develop”. That is to say, that which evolves is that which is capable of turning on itself, advancing, moving through space, turning and changing its positions forward. Thus, what remains static does not evolve. It stops, there are no new perspectives, there is no adaptation, and this impairs the ability to get in tune with a changing environment. Thus, when the environment forces him to transform, he will not be able to do so, and will die. That's called "involution."
_I: And the “revolution”?
_AM: “Re” is “to return to”. In other words, “Re-volution” implies moving one step forward again after a time of stability. This is why the moments of great changes after a period of a rigid, systemic, totalitarian and egalitarian system are called Revolution. All processes of “volution” imply that in each movement, each step, the being takes something new from the environment. We could say that the act of evolving is opening up to express oneself towards a new reality that leads us to live a new experience, which will give us new concepts to integrate, which would give us the wisdom to move to a new level and transcend the previous one. Taking or grasping something in Latin is said “prendere”, and the action of grasping something is said “learn”. The same thing happens with the Saxon languages through the concept “liznanah” that gives rise to the English “learn”, which would mean “acquire”. Learning, then, is the concept of acquiring new perspectives and knowledge of the world as I move through it. But the fear of what can happen if I spend my energy moving without knowing what will happen, makes me look for the comfort zone, and that conformity, which comes from the Latin "maintain the same shape", leads me directly to denial. Thus, the opposite of Learning would be Denying Movement.
_I: So denial, in all aspects of our lives, leads us to see what we are not being able to assimilate or transcend?
_AM: Tell me what you deny in your life and I will tell you what you don't know how to handle in it.
_I: Of course, sometimes I have noticed that precisely the things that I deny in my life are precisely the things that I do not know how to manage or handle when they appear; I don't have the tools to transcend them.
_AM: It is common for a mind, an emotion or a body to try to become defensive in the face of something that is flatly denied, because for all three of us, that concept is harmful, it disrupts our mental, emotional or physical stability. For example, tell me, what do you deny in your life?
_I: Resentment is one of them, competition is another… Anger and Sadness…
_AM: Well, we could say that you are within the expectations of at least 80% of the human population. Everyone wants to be happy, so everyone will deny anger, sadness, hatred, and all those emotions that cause us instability. However, when I deny that those emotions are part of me, when I refuse to accept them as part of my life, when I reject or separate them as if they were something apart from love and happiness, or when I judge them, the only thing I am doing is to give them more strength. Because? Let's analyze it with a current global situation: the virus. Tell me, when do you become immune to a virus?
_I: When I expose myself to it…
_AM: That is to say that the only thing that the quarantine achieves is that it does not spread so that doctors and hospitals do not collapse. But quarantine does not cure the virus, it is just a measure to use the health service progressively. A person who spends their entire life protecting themselves from viruses, washing their hands all the time, boiling all water before drinking it, never touching the earth or walking barefoot, never going out if it's cold, covering themselves all the time, covering their faces, By disinfecting everything you touch, you will be an easy person to be exterminated by a simple flu, since your immune system will not recognize any virus or bacteria. The body is strengthened by exposure, since the immune system knows what it is fighting against if it encounters it. This is how we often see that dirty children who walk around the street get sick less or almost not at all compared to children who never go out and are always clean. Likewise, on an emotional level, a person who worries all the time tends to get sick more easily than someone who worries about living.
_I: Denying an emotion in my life is like denying a virus. Denying a reality is like denying a bacteria.
_AM: When your first reaction to a statement is denial, you should ask yourself the question: “What moves this in you to deny it?”
_I: And what about the concept of denying war, for example, or denying control? That is, there are two types of denial. One is Deny because we don't want it, and another is Deny because we don't recognize it.
_AM: What the first type of Denial does, that of “I don't like it, I don't want it”, is to give power to that factor, as with the virus. Everyone denies wars out of disgust. However, has this stopped wars? A great consistent example of this is Germany. This country has been involved in the worst wars in modern and contemporary history. However, everyone there studies and talks about the causes of these wars to understand that it should not happen again, but their method is contrary to that of many countries. It is not a taboo topic, it is an important topic to discuss and recognize in great detail. If you don't know him, you won't be able to recognize him at the beginning, and by the time you find out, it will be too late. Most countries do not analyze or discuss war, they simply study it as a historical fact that is better forgotten. We know that they are bad, but we do not want to analyze them further. Struggles have a root in situations that have nothing to do with a struggle, but with a crisis or depression. World War II arose from an economic conflict in Germany, not from racism or supremacism. Not understanding the causes and processes makes us ignore the why of things. Thus, when we simply deny for the sake of denying the fact or object, we are only giving more strength to the possibilities of its repetition. A country with an economic crisis naturally begins to divide the people between rich and poor, then into ethnic groups, and then generates racism, leading to the struggle of races and classes that ends in a bloody revolution or coups d'état and exiles. It is like now with the Coronavirus: quarantine is not the solution, the solution was a good public health service, free of charge, more support in all scientific, medical and nursing areas, international laws on animal consumption and food science. The same with a personal conflict, by denying the entire family history. Ignoring the causes means that we always have to react to the consequences.
_I: And the Deny for not recognizing?
_AM: The unconsciousness tends to assimilate that its point of view is the only possible one. When someone tells you: “you are jealous”, and your immediate response is “no, I am not”, you are evading something fundamental, that the other for some reason has seen in you. The simple fact that I tell you this deserves a minimum of analysis. Maybe it's his reflection in you, or maybe it's your own truth. A mirror has reflected something to you that you must see. Maybe it's just an easy-to-wash spot on your face, or maybe it's something you've never noticed because you're going too fast and not looking carefully. Every time they describe you in a way that you do not recognize in yourself, that you deny in your being, before saying “No”, ask yourself the question: “why?”
_I: Ugh… That would make us analyze ourselves all the time…
_AM: You feel like it exhausts you, right?
_I: A little…
_AM: So you feel like you are wasting energy and you prefer to remain stable without evolving?
_I: Well… If you put it like that… No. I want to evolve.
_AM: Then you must be consistent. Questioning is the key to learning. Stopping fighting what I deny is the key to evolution. Don't fight world governments, put your energy into building a new one. Do not fight against religion, simply learn to live in freedom from your “I am”. Don't fight your family, create a new one. Don't fight your emotions, just feel them and acknowledge them. Every emotion is useful, and to deny it is to lose the ability to know how to use it.
_I: I understand.
_AM: The exercise of asking yourself the question is difficult at first, like learning to ride a bicycle, but when the brain gets used to it and exercises it, that whole process is done in a second. If I told you now: “You are self-centered,” what would you say to me?
_I: Maybe before I would have told you no, but now I take a second to think “why?”, and I tell you that surely that image is seen because I always upload photos of myself, I talk about myself, I explain what I remember , and it all relates to me being the center of everything I do. So in a way, yes, I am self-centered.
_AM: And what are you going to do about it? Do you think you should change it?
_I: I don't know... Should I change that when I recognize it?
_AM: The next question would be: “Is that useful to you?”
_I: Well... I would say yes, because my life project is the I Am, and if I don't reflect from myself, it would be hypocritical, and I like to show what I do and what I am, it amuses me. I think I have taken that energy of self-centeredness to use it for something useful. I even use it as a tool that comes naturally to me because I am a Leo sign, with Venus in Leo and Mars in Leo... It's my nature.
_AM: So what you should do is act from consciousness, and stop being unconscious. It is not always necessary to change by polarizing what you deny, but rather by raising awareness about it. There lies the true transformation of the being, giving conscious power to something that he denied. And the way is by recognizing if what I had inside me is useful or not.
_I: This reminds me that in the Atlantean Saytu language, in the Nile of 12,000 years ago, the words “Yes” and “No” do not mean affirmation or denial. “Yes” was said in several ways but the conceptual one was “Ah”, which means: “my spirit contemplates it”, and “No” (for which there were also several ways, but the conceptual one was “Ush”), meant: “That path still does not lead me to evolve.” That is to say, something was never denied, but rather it was simply said that for now that path or possibility could not be contemplated.
_AM: Now that you understand, write down in your notebook the question “What emotions and feelings do I deny about myself?” That is, which ones can't I recognize, and which ones do I encounter in the struggle? Analyze, recognize, and start asking yourself questions every time someone affirms something that you deny: 1) Why?… And: 2) Is it useful to me?
_I: I observe, then, what my spirit contemplates in me, and I recognize the paths that I cannot yet see in my evolution.
_AM: Alé “Ah Ush-kei” emenyati… Yan Amma es'ibrah” (Say “Yes and No” in full consciousness… Thus the I Am will shine in you).