Release
_AM: How are you feeling today?
_I: After yesterday, today I woke up before the alarm went off. I got up and went to the gym. Yes. I ordered. I went to the pyramid, and since Ramadan began today, there was no one there. I was calm... In silence, and yet I had the feeling that something was missing.
_AM: What?
_I: A scream. I needed to scream something.
_AM: And why haven't you done it?
_I: There was no reason.
_AM: Sure?
_I: Well… I guess. I can't find a reason...
_AM: Shall I list them? 1) Since August 2015, you have been planning the YOSOY trip and a month before starting it, in June 2020 all your plans are cancelled. 2) You felt betrayed by several friends in recent years. 3) You felt cheated by your family and never said anything. 4) You left out movie contracts because of lies. 5) You fell madly in love and had your heart broken twice in a short time. 6) Many things about certain people make you uncomfortable and instead of setting limits you say yes to everything... Shall I continue?
_I: Thanks…
_AM: Why do you refuse to let go?
_I: I let go…
_AM: No, you forgive, which is different. But forgiving is not enough. We already talked about what forgiveness means.
_I: To give something, that is, I free myself from my perspective of the facts. Weight that only I carry. I usually do that. You showed me.
_AM: But nevertheless, you do it only with your mind, and not with your soul. The mind is the spiritual manifestation, and in that aspect, you are connected to the spirit, however, not so much to the soul.
_I: Ëmnia… I remember its vibration. My soul did not always agree with you.
_AM: Normal. For if it were for the energy that constitutes your being, many things would be too erratic. The soul does not understand planning, it only moves. The spirit traces the waves through which the soul's energy moves, and sometimes, the energy needs to leave through other places, denying the spiritual patterns.
_I: And rightly so…
_AM: From an objective perspective, this is seen as a short circuit, and the only solution resulting from this is a fire. Fire that you will then have to put out with the spirit... The soul is the energy, necessary for existence, the manifestation of the idea, but it is usually erratic, chaotic without a system or circuit through which to move. Likewise, if this circuit becomes obsolete, the power could explode. The soul contains all experiences, which the spirit understands and assimilates. However, the data, the records, are kept in the memory of the soul. That is to say, even if you fully understand something with your mind and spirit, it does not mean that you have done the right thing. Just because you understand something doesn't make you wise about it.
_I: I understand… What we would call “Emotional Intelligence”.
_AM: Look, let's be specific about this. We are working on the energy of Aries, and at least for you, it is your weak point, since it is what is most difficult for you to work on.
_I: Yes… Aries gets on my nerves a little.
_AM: And yet, your life has surrounded you with this energy, to see something. Impulsiveness, firmness, knowing how to say No.
_I: My family environment has this energy... My mother with an Aries ascendant, my father being an Aries with an Aries ascendant... And I have had to deal with this same energy recently. It is an energy that imposes a lot on me... That is, I feel protected by this energy, and at the same time a little intimidated.
_AM: Because it's what you came to learn. It is your North Node, your North Pole, and you will not be able to reach it without integrating this energy.
_I: What specifically?
_AM: Knowing how to do what your mother and father know how to do.
_I: What…?
_AM: Say “No”. And let go.
_I: I learned to say this word a lot while being in a relationship with an Aries, he taught me to say no, to set limits. To others and to him, hehe. However, it's true that I don't know how to let go properly.
_AM: Because trying to be good with everyone, and be balanced, you become unbalanced, you lose the internal axis due to unmanifested, unreleased energy. You must understand that one thing is what you think, and another thing is what you feel. And you live so much from thought, that you forget to feel. The belief or understanding of things blinds you in the judgment of your emotions, preventing you from satisfying the needs of your soul.
_I: How to do it?
_AM: First of all, you must understand that emotions are energy. Imagine you are watching a fire. Your mind will say: “okay, a fire is produced by the combustion of certain chemical elements that, when combined, give off heat. Arising from the accelerated oxygenation of a carbon-based material or another combustible compound that produces a large amount of heat, causing the particles and molecules to decompose so quickly that they emit light and heat. And while your spirit tries to understand the reasons for the fire, the fire devours everything without ceasing. It is the soul that thinks: “Will there be someone in the fire? What will be the results? Something must be done to turn it off! My God, how horrible!” That is, the spirit does not react, the soul does. And if you spend your life watching fire consume your world because you understand what fire is, one day, your whole house will burn down, and you'll wonder why.
_I: Wow, how explicit. But I understand... Yes. Seeing everything from the mind gives logic and consciousness to things, but if I don't react, the energy itself will consume me.
_AM: For this reason, the events that happen in your life deserve to be expressed in emotion. We have talked once about Expression, which is the first of the 4 foundations of the Universal process. The expression is to be able to escape from the pressure, from being oppressed under the force of something, imprisoned by a serious circumstance. When the mind understands something, it does not make the energy disappear, but rather gives it a coherent channel of manifestation. But if you do not manifest it, it remains oppressed, imprisoned in your being, in your body. It, then, needs to “express itself”, free itself, come out… It needs you to let it go. Release comes from the Latin “solutus,” participle of the verb “solvere,” which means “to solve, resolve, or release.”
_I: Say what you feel... Say it, let it go... Sometimes it hurts... That is, many times it is better to remain silent, because saying things can generate worse results than expected. I have always been terrified of saying something that could change a state in which everything is, hurt, offend, or not be understood, or that everything would break.
_AM: What is your fear of change at this point?
_I: I don’t know…
_AM: Saying the things you feel, that happen inside you, are only painful and counterproductive when you keep them quiet for a long time and decide to release them all together, as if a dam broke. When the dam releases water little by little, day by day, this energy does not harm, but rather nourishes, transforms the valley in its path, and unloads the weight it supports. Now think of your throat as that water dam that is your emotions, the energy of your being. Words are what shape energy in the form of vibration to be manifested or released outside. What you say or what you keep silent about defines your vibrational state. The energy that is stagnant in you can only affect you if you silence it, and it can only affect others if instead of releasing it, you vomit it out.
_I: How to identify the difference?
_AM: Well, first of all, the importance of speaking, of knowing how to say Yes or No at the correct time, helps ensure that none of the subjects involved suffer the consequences of accumulating energy. Saying No preserves your energy, even if it bothers others. This is something you must remember very well: in nature, you must first protect your own being before helping others or putting yourself at the service of others. Saying No is the vibrational manifestation of taking care of your internal parts. Saying Yes manifests the will to take action, to open yourself to something new, and knowing when and how to say yes helps creative emotion expand from you to the world. In another order of things, the energy accumulated over time must be released, like opening a door or window in a house where there is a fire. If the fire has been confined for too long, the toxic gases will affect the interior of the house terribly, bending the structure. The moment you decide to open the door or window, the oxygen awakens the fire, producing the opposite effect, a super explosion. The solution, then, was worse, or at least dangerous. Therefore, it is better that no one is near the house at that time, as the windows could explode, and the glass could harm those around. You understand me?
_I: Yes, I understand the simile. The house is my body, the door is my mouth, the fire is the emotions, the smoke is all those unnecessary toxic registers, the oxygen is saying or shouting everything. It's an explosion.
_AM: This is what everyone fears. Or what everyone tries to hide, to appear “more spiritual” and “coherent.”
_I: What is your advice?
_AM: Clean the house. May you dare to open the doors and windows, but recognizing that no one outside is to blame for the fact that you have lit a fire inside. Find a sacred space, and throw it all out until you vomit. All that smoke you have inside.
_I: Scream?
_AM: And curse. Cursing is not casting a spell on someone, but saying bad things.
_I: Like… Bad words?
_AM: Yes… Whatever you can think of. The ones that you consider summarize your emotions. Who says “Recórcholis” when they hammer their finger? Who says “ouch” when they fall from the second floor?
_I: Well… I don't think anyone. I once heard a writer say: “if it's in the dictionary, it's not a bad word.”
_AM: Language is a tool that allows you to release packets of energy. Dissonant sounds download packets of dissonant information by resonance.
_I: This is why after shouting insults we usually feel lighter afterwards...
_AM: Yes. But only if you do it knowing why you do it. Insulting from unconsciousness only polarizes you, sending that energy to another, who sooner or later will return to you. From Consciousness, you know that this energy is your own, and only you feel it, and therefore you must take responsibility for it. Unite spirit and soul here, to release your emotions with awareness and understanding. The creativity that lies within you will not emerge until you release the pressure you feel, the one that has blocked your creative capacity, will not leave you until you let it.
_I: To regain the ability to express myself I must release the pressure.
_AM: So... Scream, free yourself. Loose. And so you will solve, and little by little you will be able to make the soul understand the logic of the spirit, and in each step do not be afraid to say Yes and No when appropriate.
_I: It's true... Many of the things that I overcame in my life, that I transcended, I did it from the mind, not from the soul. I blindly closed the windows of the soul, my eyes. That's why they make me sick, that's why I don't see clearly, and I've had these problems with my eyes lately, it's my smoke, caused by my own fire, that suffocates itself, extinguishing the spark of my being... My creativity.
_AM: Now you know why you're not being able to paint.
_I: Yes…
_AM: Yes, damn it!
_I: Yes! The p%+# that p#%$#”·#!!…&! M'cagunlamar·k'usvaparí! mbastakan! @!€#… in everything!
_AM: Well, well... It's a start. Take a deep breath… Find where these energies are imprisoned in your being, and find the space to Release. Well, doing so is part of resetting your being for a new beginning.
_I: Let go, to be able to Be.
_AM: Free your soul from its energetic regret. Thus letting go is the key to Coherence.