Problem
_I: The pyramid couldn't be louder today. Full of people from some Eastern European country, who couldn't stop shouting inside. Noisy. A lot of disrespect. The same thing has happened at other times, even with Egyptians who go to spend the day at the pyramids, and jump into the sarcophagus, screaming, without any kind of respect, even for history. Despite this, I try to sit in a corner and concentrate on myself until they leave, since they are never there for more than 5 minutes. Before I became more conflicted when seeing these situations, now not so much, but since we entered the emotional week of Aries it is as if I could not sustain what arises within me.
_AM: What comes up?
_I: A rage that I don't recognize in myself. And it's not that it's against someone specific, but, perhaps, with myself, with things that I generated for myself. When I sat behind the sarcophagus today, you asked me the question: “What is your conflict?”, and I started thinking about it. I tried to identify where it was coming from. I thought about what happened yesterday and the day before yesterday. The path led me to set limits, to have to say no, enough, this is as far as we have come. And I feel like it's perfect. But now my task is different: why does it affect me? Because of course we can set limits, but when the reasons why we set limits affect us, it indicates that there is clearly a reflection.
_AM: Could you see it?
_I: At first I rambled a lot. I was too literal.
_AM: In what sense?
_I: Well, I started to think that if yesterday I talked about those who make unnecessary noise in the YouTube chat during my explanations, maybe the reflection was because I am making noise in some sense in my life. Then I thought that if they judge my ego, because I stood firm, maybe it's because I was expressing my ego too much. But this led me to nonsense, because in that case, if I have to evaluate myself by what others see of me, it would never end because it would never be right. Then I turned the logic around, and thought what bothers me about those who comment. Is it really the fact that they interrupt that bothers me? Or maybe it's more related to my ego?
_AM: How would it relate to your ego?
_I: Well… I thought that maybe what really bothers me is that they were taking too much of the spotlight, and instead of paying attention to me, everyone was actually paying more attention to what was happening in the chat. I thought that, probably, my ego was offended because while I was making the effort to explain concepts freely, others were hogging the attention by talking about anything as if it were a bar.
_AM: And your ego felt hurt.
_I: I guess. That's the conclusion I came to. But then I saw something else. Because the next step to recognizing this was to think: what does the ego want to defend itself from? Why choose this situation and not another? And then I realized.
_AM: About what?
_I: That, in my desire to want us all to be one, I too often gave up my place, my personal power, to others, leaving myself aside to respect others; and every time I did that, I suffered, I fell, I got lost along the way. Without being able to say no, without setting limits, I found myself used in many situations. I saw friends use me for their things, I saw couples manipulate me, project colleagues disappoint me. And, from his point of view, what they did was not wrong, of course not. That is, from consciousness I understood that in reality they were not using me, nor manipulating me, nor disappointing me, but rather they were doing what they believed was best from their points of view. And I believed that giving them the place was my right. So, I put the damaged ego as the victim, when in reality I gave them the power, and only I had felt betrayed by simply not respecting myself. The fact that today we are not friends, or companions, or couples, is not anyone's fault, but rather a mismanagement of the ego, one overriding the other. Then I realized that in many cases, my response to these situations is fear of falling again, that by saying “we are all”, and therefore everyone has to speak and say, and do, I will fall again. . My mind remembers that every time I gave power to others, I ended up in depression, very bad. And I refuse to let it happen again.
_AM: How do you plan to solve this problem?
_I: What problem?
_AM: The one you just narrated. That your ego feels safe in the face of what others say, or judge about you.
_I: Well… I don't really consider it a problem, but rather something I should understand better. Externalize it to rationalize it.
_AM: That's why it's a problem.
_I: What does it mean?
_AM: Problem comes from the Greek “pro” (forward) and “balein” (throw). Throw something forward, with force. The word problem, in your current concept, is related to something that prevents you from moving forward freely, and that needs to be resolved; from the Latin “re” (to return, again) and “solvere” (to let go). That is to say, the resolution of a problem lies in letting go of what has been thrown so as not to be dragged by it. The concept can be understood as having thrown something at random, without coherence or purpose. Problems, then, are those things that you throw into life and that you must then learn to let go of.
_I: So, we could say that in my case, my problem is the fact that I have given my power, my axis, to others in order to not be selfish; which, when launched into the world, ended up being my problem, precisely. And the solution is to let go of the idea of giving up my power so as not to be selfish, and focus on myself.
_AM: The things we throw into the world without measuring their effects become our problems. We could understand it as throwing a knife into the air, and walking away without awareness of where it will land. Like shooting a gun blindfolded without considering the consequences. The Greek word “balein”, the root of the word problem, gave rise to names like “bullet” and “ballistics”, something thrown with such force that it generates irreparable consequences.
_I: How do I solve problems?
_AM: Oh, they will come to you, so all you have to do is prepare to receive them. Well, every problem is the consequence of your unconscious actions.
_I: Then I wonder... All the acts we perform daily are unconscious, which will always generate problems.
_AM: That's right.
_I: HA! so?
_AM: What?
_I: How do I solve them!?
_AM: What do you hope will give you the solution to how not to cause problems?
_I: Aha! exactly.
_AM: Ah, that's impossible.
_I: Prfff! But why?
_AM: How do you intend to evolve without problems? Do you think you would have become who you are without problems? If everything had gone well, would you be here? Don't you think you would still be living in Venado Tuerto, Argentina, living with your mother, with your first partner, and doing the same thing every day? Or even more so, living a normal life with the same friends from school, with the same family as always, in the same places as always... Do you realize that it is thanks to the problems that you have known another country, that you have known new ones? friends, that you have discovered your potentials, that you have transformed your life and that of others, that you have discovered new territories, that you have remembered and learned new information? Do you realize that it was the problems that allowed you to be who you are today?
_I: I understand... Yes. They are the ones who pushed me forward...
_AM: So, are you still afraid to face your problems knowing that it can be better? Better things await you in the future, behind bigger problems.
_I: Today in the pyramid you showed me 3 lines as the axes of the 6 faces of a Cube. A long vertical marking the height, another along the middle marking the width, and another crossing backwards marking the depth. What did you mean by that?
_AM: It has to do with the types of problems you will face in your life. A Cube has 6 faces, so we could say that there are 3 pairs of squares that face each other and are opposite. How to say Tall, Wide and Deep with their opposites Past, Present and Future. Space and Time. These tangent lines have positive and negative poles that have been thrown toward opposite ends. The same, despite having been expelled from the center to the periphery, will tend to return towards themselves, towards the core, generating that sensation of the force of gravity, contracting all things. The expansion of these polar forces is known as “problem”, and the return of these forces to the origin, generating pressure in the center (opposites attract), is what you call “conflict” (joint blow = con-flictus). Conflict is generated when opposing forces that have been separated and turned into a problem are confronted with each other, colliding in the center. The line of Depth is the type of problem-conflict best known to the human world, which is generated between adversaries, those who are facing each other, on the opposite side, behind the line, who see themselves ahead in the battle or behind in betrayal, also related to the physical body. The horizontal line that shows the width is drawn in the direction of the arms, from right to left, and speaks of the problem-conflict line with those who are peers, friends, partners, family, those who are closest to us. , and with whom entering this dynamic hurts more deeply, because it is related to the emotional level. The last line, related to the spiritual or mental plane, is the vertical one that runs through the top of your being, the axis, and that speaks of the problem-conflict line with oneself, inside. The three lines will be constantly generating problems in your life, creating conflicts to produce the energy necessary to move forward.
_I: Wait, I just saw this image as a machine. This is like a life energy generating device. Like a kind of engine, in which the traction and pulsion force is used, the more it expands, the greater force it will generate when contracting, and in the collision, the energy that turns on the machine is produced.
_AM: Problems create conflicts, conflicts awaken energy, and energy feeds the body, soul and spirit to move forward, releasing its previous state, causing the resolution of the problem.
_I: The fundamental stone that causes every problem, then, is the permanence, the staticity or immobility of life.
_AM: The belief that always being the same and good is the expected state. And the reason why this does not work is because the state of stability and harmony is different for each individual. Thus, you will never be able to agree with anyone on anything to find stability as you would like.
_I: It's exhausting... Eternal... Impossible to solve.
_AM: Oh yes, every problem has the same solution.
_I: Which one?
_AM: A new problem. Do you know what your problem is with the problem?
_I: Which one?
_AM: The cultural weight that you have placed on it. From the moment you enter school, you are taught to solve problems, solve problems, mathematical, chemical, ethical, historical, linguistic. You are given exams to solve problems, and depending on how you solve them, you are approved or not. This produces a feeling of constant stress in the body, soul and mind, which seeks to be accepted, approved by others, in order to solve problems or not. You have put an ethical and cultural, religious weight on the error, which in Latin you call sin. And whoever makes a mistake, who has a problem, must solve it as soon as possible to be well. As if not having problems was the key to life. But if you look, those who have advanced humanity are those who have created problems, who ask questions, who create more problems to solve. If you seek to evolve, you must create thoughts and ideas that cause problems, conflicts, it is the law of natural selection.
_I: “You can't like God and the Devil.” I heard it said once. And others tell me that it is necessary to take sides in things, that sometimes it is either black or white, and I am too Gray.
_AM: That is the conflict you generate in the world. The search for neutrality causes many problems to arise in your life, all to test your neutrality. Now, the question is whether you are going to spend your energy on trying to make sure that others do not feel offended, or on trying to make others find the solution to the problems you raise.
_I: No matter what I do, it will always cause problems… That's it. It's like being in a maze with no exit.
_AM: Because you have come here in the service of the Evolution of Consciousness, not of the conceptual Immobility of Unconscious well-being. So stop feeling sorry for yourself, and be responsible for the decisions you make. The spiritual path is not to make everyone like you, it is to be yourself. Aries energy should remind you, everyone. And doing so does not mean taking a position on one side or another, being firm does not mean taking a side in the battle, being firm means not being affected by both sides, and being able to say what you have come to say.
_I: I must integrate this from Aries…
_AM: There will be time to integrate. In the meantime, it's time to prepare for the fight.
_I: Will you teach me how to fight? He he…
_AM: Yes. To fight with the world, and to fight with yourself.
_I: I get ready then…
_AM: Yes, well you will need a lot of will to win this battle. And to do so you must transcend the concept of a problem, because it is not what prevents you from moving forward...
_I: But what propels me forward.