Mother and Father
_I: I reread yesterday's text, because I realized that I didn't know what I had written, and I realized that when we talk about society, the universe, spirituality, politics, we always return to the base of the mother and the father. Throughout my life I have heard many people who study consciousness, spirituality, the development of the individual, in many areas; which describe that the origin of all a person's conflict arises from their parents. That idea shocked me for a long time, because it's like blaming others for all your problems. I have heard it said that having a child is almost an act of selfishness, since they do not think about whether the being wanted to be born or not, but I remember having chosen to be born and having chosen my parents, so is it really a selfish act? Why do we usually blame our parents for everything we are?
_AM: Because we are for the parents. The origin of a person is biological. The union of a sperm and an egg generate a discharge of energy that forms a chakra, an energy wheel through which resonant energies descend, which over 9 months will shape an individual. The energy that reaches this individual, what you call Soul, comes from different energetic paths, both from the parents, throughout the family tree, and from the environment, which filters said energy. The spirit manifests itself in each pulse, in each cell division, since it is the vibration that allows these meiosis and mitosis. This is how a being is composed, the vibration exchanging energy that is unified in a material vortex that multiplies in the form of fractals until creating you. Because vibration is very easy to interfere with, everything that happens in your environment, everything your mother does above all, will condition the energy with which you will be formed. This is how your parents determine who you are. At birth, their words will condition your vocabulary, limiting your ability to express and understand ideas to a specific language, in a specific culture, tradition and morality, all based on what you eat and how you eat it. The emotions, desires, anger, distortions, joys, frustrations, everything that your parents feel, you will imitate out of the simple natural need to be accepted by the group, by the clan. It is something natural in all living beings. Birds learn to fly by watching their parents do the same, without school, simple imitation. Humans are equal beyond their intellect. This is how the way of speaking, of doing, of feeling, of facing the world, will be an imitation of the environment.
_I: But, what about the personality itself?
_AM: It always is. The real essence, that of each individual, is like the pulp of a fruit, while the peel is everything that it absorbs from the outside. Sometimes the internal awakens more and overrides the external of your being, but the truth is that the internal seeks to protect itself with inherited tools. It is as if your parents gave you battle armor for life: your mother will give you a shield (with which you will protect yourself), and your father will give you a sword (with which you will defend yourself). In every movement you make in your personal life, the energy will generate rupture in patterns in front of you, like when you make your way in the water, in the sea. Your strength pushes the waters, but you feel their strength pushing against you. You call that crisis, conflict, or simply challenge. And to overcome this challenge, you will use your personality armor, with the shield and the sword. Therefore, when you start to want to go deeper into the sea, you feel that the armor weighs you down. And you ask yourself: “At what point did I put so much weight on myself?” To swim, the shield and the sword hold you back, they sink you, and you wonder who gave them to you, and why you continue to carry them if now the environment is different. Because in the rustic and harsh mountains and plains of physical life, the armor defends you, the sword frees you from enemies, but in the path of flow, in the sea, in the ocean, all that weight drowns you. That's when you remember: "Ah, the sword is my father's and the shield is my mother's, and they both gave me this armor that now doesn't let me move forward and drowns me in the sea of consciousness!"
_I: Pretty graphic…
_AM: And there, in desperation you tell yourself that you must free yourself from the weight that your parents have placed on you. The karma, the pain, the heavy inheritance received, the beliefs, patterns, dependencies, the struggle, the prejudices, all that comes from mom and dad.
_I: So… What do I do?
_AM: You have two options. The first is to get rid of both by dropping the armor, sword and shield so that they fall to the bottom of the ocean. This will allow you to swim, but when you reach the other side you will be unprotected and you will never be able to recover what you lost in the dark bottom of the oceanic subconscious.
_I: So what we call “getting free” we would be treating today more as “getting free.”
_AM: Both arise from the same etymological origin: “liber” (who is not tied to anything), but one remembers the quality of becoming free, and the other refers to the quality of exerting strength to free oneself from ties. In the first case, the process is subtle and harmonious, the second is forced and painful.
_I: Everything I have heard about “freeing” oneself from the patterns of one's parents is more about freeing oneself, getting rid of what they have given us to be able to swim with tranquility and freedom. But, as you said, this will give me problems when I get to the other side, since I will find myself completely unprotected.
_AM: That's right. There is a great truth in the concepts of father and mother: two of their cells have given rise to the millions that make you up today. You are your father and your mother. You cannot get rid of them, because they not only live in you, you are them.
_I: Sure... It's much deeper, because we see ourselves as separate individuals, but it's like thinking that the apples hanging from a tree are not the tree, when in reality they are an extension of it and inside are the seeds that will replicate to the same tree... So, if I can't get rid of them to move forward... What do I do?
_AM: That's the second option. Return to the coast, go backwards.
_I: It's... The opposite of normal thoughts of moving forward, right?
_AM: When you have to jump over a big crack, do you stand on the edge and stretch your leg to see if you can make it?
_I: No, I take distance so I can run and clean and jerk to jump with strength.
_AM: So you go back. Do you understand the logic? Just as to jump up you lean downward, to jump forward you need to look for strength backwards. When you are with your parents you don't see the patterns well. When you move away from them you begin to see them clearly. And here there are two types of people: those who get angry with their parents for everything they did to them and try to surpass them and get rid of them, or there are those who, seeing everything in perspective, decide to return and honor them, giving them back the sword, the shield, the armor in the shape of a hug. This last way not only takes a weight off your body, but also from your soul. For your energy honors itself in your parents.
_I: “You will honor your father and your mother”… Which is honoring yourself.
_AM: “Love your neighbor as if they were yourself”… Well, you are.
_I: Going back is not always bad, it is the key to being able to move forward with more strength.
_AM: Then recognize your mother and father. There is an incessant struggle between these two concepts. As we said yesterday, this duality generates conflicts, female and male, woman and man, positive and negative, night and day, moon and sun, matrix and pattern. They have dualized to the point of seeing them as opposites.
_I: When they are inevitably complementary.
_AM: Mom and Dad are not only among the most spoken words in history by a person, as well as the first for most, but they also come from roots that remember the fabrics of the Universe, the heavenly mother and father. The first mother we all have is the Divine Matrix, the creative womb that generates all the networks and systems that shape existence. The first father that we all have is the Divine Pattern, also called the “Law”, which dictates the paths within the fabric of the Mother. That is, the missions, destinies, intentions and purposes. If the mother says “what, why and how”, the father says “where, with whom and for what”. From the origin of creation itself we are all determined by the concepts of mother and father even if they are not biological. Therefore, you will inevitably be determined throughout your existence by your parents, since they are not individuals, but concepts of the energy that allows your manifestation. Positive and negative.
_I: And what about those who don't have parents?
_AM: That's ridiculous. Everyone has a father and mother. Whether you know them or don't know them, they live in you. And sometimes there are fathers and mothers who weave our body, and other fathers and mothers who weave from the soul, and others from the thought. But both energies will always be present in you from all levels, you can never say: I don't have parents or I didn't know them. Every time you look in the mirror, there they are. When you look at those who raised you, there they are.
_I: And what about same-sex marriages, where they have two mothers or two fathers?
_AM: First, marriage exists only in heterosexual couples.
_I: Why?
_AM: The word says it: “matri-monio”, which comes from “matri” (mother) and “monio” (one). Marriage defines the man who marries a single woman who will be a mother. Simple.
_I: So there is no such thing as gay marriage… Right?
_AM: No. There is a Union of People. It's that simple. Biologically everyone has a father and a mother, but as I said, in soul, everyone can be mothers and fathers, because beyond the physical body, a mother is the one who gives nutrition, love, containment, and a father is the one who gives protection, guidance. , teaching. Do you think these concepts are exclusive to women or men?
_I: No, because both one and the other can do all those things.
_AM: Well, simple, from the soul, everyone can be a mother and father, beyond sexual gender. You have not had a father. Because?
_I: I remember deciding not to have a father before I was born. I told myself that the time would come when I was older, and that is why I decided not to meet him until I was 27 years old.
_AM: What is your relationship with your parents?
_I: My mother had me when she was 17 years old. She was only with my father that time. They never saw each other again. My father had denied that I was her son. My mother didn't care. The first time I remember my mother's soul was back in the year 600 or so AD. She was a general of the Arab Army, a clear man. I remember seeing her strength and presence, and only one thought crossed my mind: “when the time comes, I want him to be my mother.” I always saw the feminine and masculine aspects in my mother, she was my father and my mother at the same time. I couldn't have chosen anyone better for this role in my life. For many years I have heard people constantly tell _I: you have a lot to heal from the bond with your mother, there is a very great dependency, your mother manages your emotional life, you have to separate your life from hers, her character does not allow you to move forward. I heard so many things from people who only had things to say about my mother. Her character is so strong that she constantly protects me, and many times, when I have had problems with some people, instead of projecting the conflict onto me, they made my mother guilty of what was happening. She is clearly the shield of my life, but everything people said about my mother and how I should free myself from her was wrong. Well, over time I realized that it was I who had chosen to be protected from her under her arms. I looked for that Arab General, I asked him to take care of me because I felt weak before the Humanity that I should face in this life. I was the only irresponsible one who was afraid to stand up for myself. The weight she carried was hers and mine. I did not have to free myself from my mother, from my bond with her, what I really had to do with her was free her from my weight. And then I realized what you're saying: “What do people mean by freeing themselves from the mother bond?” Well, what I can see is that everyone has the same dilemma in different areas. Does anyone really break free from something in their life? Freeing yourself from your parents, especially your mother, is like trying to stop breathing so as not to die. Yesterday you explained it very well: “Oxygen kills us with every breath by oxidizing the blood, destroying the cells. Every breath is a fight to survive, and yet what gives us life is the same thing that consumes us.” The mother is like oxygen. You must not free yourself from breathing, you must learn to breathe.
_AM: Excellent. You've understood. The dependence on ties is not healed by cutting them, but by relaxing them. The further you want to get away, the more tension there will be on the bond ropes, but the closer you get, the ropes will relax. That happens when you realize that your mother's armor is what she made you live until today, it is what she protected you and gave everything you needed until you learned to defend yourself. That's when you honor everything she knew how to do for you, and that's when you heal him, when you stop needing him, you can finally hug him and love him without dependencies, closer than ever. Unconditionally.
_I: That's why we have to go back to take the big leap. Today I have the best relationship with my mother in years. I feel balance. Company. How to be one with her.
_AM: And your father?
_I: My father was absent until I knew he had to be back in my life. However, his absence was his greatest gift. Thanks to him not being present in my life, I was able to look at the sky and find my true Father: the Universe. Parents teach, they mark destinies, patterns, paths, and in their absence, it was the Universe that showed me the paths, which are infinite, and instead of following a limiting pattern in human life, I saw myself as all-powerful and infinite. My father gave me the Void, a beautiful gift that some I know suffer.
_AM: For many, the absence of the father, the denial of it, is a very great frustration and trauma, as they seek to survive on Earth by looking at the horizon instead of looking at the stars. It's normal, it's being human. The human seeks to be recognized by the parents to be accepted into the clan. That one or two of them do not recognize him makes him feel naked before predators. Without the sword.
_I: When I met him he told me some phrases that I will never forget: “I can't give love to a 27-year-old guy, even if he is my son. I am not interested in where we come from, who we are or where we are going. I am living month by month doing what I can.” They seem like horrible words, but you know what? For me they were liberating. There were no expectations or dependencies, on the part of either of us, it reminded me of the importance of living in the present and stopping thinking about the meaning of all things, returning to emptiness and doubt. His horrible statements were a liberating gift to my conscience.
_AM: What have they both given you?
_I: Their last names say it all, they tell everything they have given me. “De Stefano”, my mother's last name, comes from the Greek “Stefanós”, which means “Crowned” and “Victorious”. And on my father's side: “Bide”, from Euskera (Basque), which means “Way”. Victorious Path, Path to the Crown. “I Am the Wanderer who is in the Crown of the World.” “The Path from North to South.”
_AM: You are both in you.
_I: Today I have the best relationship with both of them, we have even spent the holidays together at my house starting this 2020. I began this path towards the I AM with the firmness of both knees, with the balance of my two pillars here and now, my two trees bearing fruit.
_AM: This is how you honor your parents, because, as you move towards the horizon to embark on your own adventure, you find yourself closer and closer to them.
_I: So, I still use his sword and shield… But from another place.
_AM: Well, you've thought outside the box. Not only is it absurd to want to swim across an ocean in armor, but it is also absurd to want to swim across it. What is the logical solution?
_I: Get a boat. He he…
_AM: This is how you will navigate the sea of consciousness, honoring your parents, using their tools, but knowing that in the waves of the spirit you can leave the weight aside and enjoy the journey.
_I: I am my mother, I am my father. I am. Thanks dad, thanks mom...