Love and Hate
_I: Today in the pyramid I felt a very strange sensation. For a moment I felt like I was having a mild heart attack. I stopped feeling my arms, my legs, and my head seemed to expand consuming all its oxygen, making me hallucinate. The heart seemed to stop, and then I felt how my body began to split in half in a perfect straight line, opening to the sides like a flower with two petals. I could perceive all the organs in half, see the muscles, tissues, everything in half, although both parts remained united by arteries and main ganglia, like suspension bridges between two towers. Then, a beautiful light began to descend through the center between the two parts, illuminating these veins and arteries, where each one accumulated light as if it were filtering it as it passed. That light turned into a subtle and soft golden color, not very bright, but gentle to the eyes, and it was being absorbed by the veins and arteries as the light became more intense. When it reached my genitals, the body reunited from bottom to top, connecting with the light already inside me. But now I could see all the light around me, and a huge and beautiful portal in front of me opened, through which a kind of angelic being appeared. He extended his hand to me, and I did the same. We took each other's hands, and together we went to my heart. My hand remained on my chest, and his went through it to take my heart like a sponge that he pressed several times, making it beat again in a beautiful expansion. Then everything returned to normal.
_AM: And what did you feel?
_I: At first I felt desperation, I didn't know what was happening, and my body began to worry, but my mind let itself go. Then, seeing my body split generated opposite emotions: on the one hand, a bit of disgust, aversion to see everything inside, the organs moving but cut in half with the blood circulating, everything compressed and supported by muscles, tissues, and lipids, but at the same time I felt fascination and amazement, as if I couldn't stop looking at it. The light brought a lot of calm, I felt peace, and I saw in that being in front of me an absolute clarity of being in heaven and on earth at the same time. I still feel a little dizzy. But my heart expanded.
_AM: What emotion is that?
_I: Love... Inevitably, but at the same time, a strange sensation accompanies it, which I can't identify, as if that great love were accompanied by a feeling of aversion, what I told you, as if it were disgust, but a natural disgust, that is, not bad, but... Like a cat.
_AM: How would that be?
_I: Well... People who love dogs the most will hardly understand how it is, but cats have that strange ability to love you and hate you at the same time. It's an emotion that maybe only someone with a lot of Scorpio in their astrological chart can really understand. I have many planets in House 8, which in astrology is the celestial house of Scorpio, but in itself, the sun, or the moon, or the ascendant, or Mars and Venus... If they are in Scorpio, they will show a somewhat dark person, a little gloomy, very sexual, confusing, spiritualist, who can sometimes be characterized as a born hater, perverse; and yet, that way of fatally stinging with the sting is precisely their way of loving you, the way they tell you they love you. Cats are the same, while they seek your caresses and protect you, kiss you and pamper you, they will not hesitate to scratch you or bite you with hatred if they think it has been enough. That's why many people hate cats because you never know what they are up to, or if they love you, or if they are just interested... That's why they relate them to Scorpio, to spiritualism, the devil, witches...
_AM: By cataloging emotions, humans have placed Love and Hate at the extremes of a rope, as if one pulled from one end and the other from the opposite. In the middle, all the other emotions hang. Thus, there is an incessant search to reach Love, denying Hate for being its opposite. If Love is Harmony, Creation, Peace, Freedom, then Hate will be Chaos, Destruction, War, and Slavery. This from a world that sees things linearly and in the short term.
_I: And how would they be nonlinear and long-term?
_AM: An eternal sphere. The closer you look at a fabric, what you will perceive is a straight line coming from one end and going to another. The farther away you get, you will start to see how the ends curve towards a horizon, bending by gravitational force until they intersect at the opposite end of a sphere, the farthest opposites being the same origin of both views.
_I: Like the nerve connections of the two eyes, which inside the head are not aligned, that is, the right eye with the right hemisphere, and the left eye with the left hemisphere, but cross each other creating like a circuit of a cross or infinity, like an 8, in which the right eye goes to the left side of the brain and the left eye connects to the right side of the brain.
_AM: Nothing is what it seems, everything that we considered opposite is not separated but interconnected. The body is a sample that balance, the balance of things can only occur by the interweaving of opposites becoming complementary. What you felt today, the body splitting in half, let you see that both parts are fascinating, but without those connections in the middle, they would make no sense, because the right side receives information from the left side, and the left side moves thanks to the impulses from the right side. Which helps to understand that we would not understand light without darkness, we would not understand the idea of freedom without slavery, there would be no way to identify good without evil. We would not understand the idea of love without hate.
_I: So everything is part of the same system? But... It's kind of weird, to think that conflict, war, darkness must be taken as a "necessary evil".
_AM: It's not necessary. It's reactionary. The Universe doesn't need anything; it's simple; it has everything. But by separating, the parts individualize, evolve considering that they are separated from each other, and seek to obtain the greatest amount of energy possible, to store it, save it, and thus survive the longest possible time sustaining the same form. Clinging to finite forms. Clinging, attaching to the finite is what generates needs. Depending on the finite imprisons the eternal, reducing it to conditional love, to the love of dependence that enslaves souls to maintain eternal and rigid bonds, producing a kind of energetic arthritis, rheumatism of spiritual foundations. Divide, separate, corrupt, generate fears of what will happen if it is lost. Thus, fearful individuals begin to steal energy from others, producing an energetic violation that generates displeasure, aversion... Hate. Remember, Love is not an emotion within the rope, Love is the concept with which the entire rope is known, all that rope that surrounds the entire sphere, because Love means Eternity, without death, something that lives forever, that vibrates incessantly. Hate, then, will be what ceases, what stops vibrating, what stops resonating, what interrupts continuity. Hate comes from the Indo-European word "ëhed," used to show disgust for something. Current culture turned hate into something opposite to love when, in its origin, the word referred to things like "I don't like this bread." Things that taste bad, feel bad, things from which I must refrain, that bother me, things to which I must set a limit. "The bread is not bad, but I don’t like it this way it is made," the same thing your cat says: "I love caresses, but the way you are doing it would not be the best."
_I: "Hate at its origin is a way of setting limits?" Did I understand correctly?
_AM: Exactly. Hate is the conceptual form of the word "disgust." When something disgusts you, it doesn't mean it's wrong, it means it disgusts you. Hating has become a form of judgment, of qualifying an emotion of accumulated anger against a concrete being or object. If anger is an abstract concept of rage, hate is a focused concept of rage towards something. Rage means "anger," and anger comes from the roots "in-" and "fatuus," which mean "without – concrete fact," that is, "foolish." Something we can relate to the origin of the word anger, from the Indo-European "ëis," which means "to move quickly." A quick foolish movement, without coherence, without meaning, without understanding, undoubtedly leads to a feeling of discomfort, of disgust, which eliminates the comfort zone. Hate, then, is that emotion that reminds us that we have not managed to be at peace with our inner world, that there is no balance, equilibrium in the eternal flow of energy. Hate is an indicator that we have lost the eternal flow, and the current has started to become intermittent.
_I: Hate, then, is not the opposite of Love, it is what warns us that love is having trouble flowing!
_AM: Two days ago, you started with a fever problem. Why?
_I: Because a friend came to visit, since he was on a tourist trip, and even though my being was happy to have visitors who made me feel that I live something different from my routine, the constant flow of my daily energy dissipated, and everything that circulated in the axis started to be intermittent. The energy I was holding could not be controlled and expressed itself in heat and fever.
_AM: And what emotions did it generate in you?
_I: Mixed. I felt joy, laughter, love, fun, companionship, and at the same time I felt in myself irresponsibility, guilt, hatred for not having considered that this could happen to me.
_AM: As you can see, pain, fever, illness were not there to make you suffer, they were there to make you return to your center, which you had lost for a moment. Hate is the natural reaction of the soul's immune system, which tries to defend itself by fighting against invading viruses and bacteria that can damage the integrity of the flow of Love, which is your eternal heartbeat and internal circulation.
_I: I understand... And what to do when Hate gets out of control? I mean, when the immune system stops being useful and consumes the system, like in an immunodeficiency disease, like the famous AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome).
_AM: Hate has reached the extreme of becoming a struggle, war, attacking its own cells, destroying its own world, trying to defend it according to its own interests and beliefs of what love means, it ends up corrupting its own environment by destroying itself. A system sick from the struggle, the least it needs is a counterattack. It needs love, it needs to understand again that things are flowing, it needs to feel that there is Love, that the cycle is eternal and transformative, that there is room for everything. It needs Unconditional Love, without limits, without judgments. One of the most difficult loves, for it is easier to love the similar than the opposite, it is easier to hate to defend oneself than to open oneself to die as a martyr. That is why the ancient religions beatified their martyrs, those who did not oppose the judgment of their oppressors and decided to forgive them. That attitude was what added more followers to Christianity, just as in the 70s it added so many people to the hippie movement, because the bravery of a single person placing a flower in a gun, or sitting in front of a tank, or praying before the lashes, awakens more strength, power, and love than an army of thousands of people with weapons of hate. In the same way that a mother's caress and the loving smile of someone who appreciates us heal more bodies than any medicine. Because the immune system was made to hate, to defend itself from what disgusts our being. Hate is just a defense mechanism. The more I seek to defend myself from the opposite, from the external, the more hate I will generate, when I allow energy to flow, free, harmonious, the more love I will feel, and the faster I will heal.
_I: ... Only Love will make you Free...
_AM: Well, now you know that Hate was the guardian of Love, not its enemy. Love cannot have opposites; it only has allies. There would be no love if its mere existence implied an opposite. Open your heart, recognize what bothers you, what hate tries to protect you from, and draw it wrapped in love. The eternal flow of two forces that protect each other.
_I: I can now recognize that every time something bothers me, every time I have felt hatred and aversion, it was my body defending me from something strange, like a cat, that can love and defend itself at the same time. That's how my body and my subconscious are. Now I understand the union of both, and I intend not to block or deny hatred but to seek ways to feel more open and safe in a hostile world, bringing that same security and flow of love to that world. It reminds me of a classmate in Spain, who was very problematic and aggressive, but was full of love, I could see it. I saw that he was hurting others, but it was because he didn't know where to put that energy, so one day I asked him why he did so many bad things, why he hated everyone so much, and he told me that because nobody respected him and they thought he was stupid. So I told him that nobody is stupid if they ask for help. I remember helping him with his homework, and when he had doubts, I made him ask the guys he used to bother before. From that day on, he started taking care of us instead of attacking us, he defended us and fought against the injustices of the school by defending his classmates. He just needed a goal to put his energy into.
_AM: And that's how hatred gets a purpose, and it won't need attention again. And the world will have healed, the World will be Love.