Acceptation
_I: This week has been quite intense, both for me and for everyone. Many things are being stirred up. Last night, after finishing the daily alignment, something very strange happened to me: I stopped seeing with my left eye, and I could only see colors and fractals, as if I were in another dimension. It was very beautiful, but at the same time distressing because I couldn't see anything with that eye, and I could only see half of my face in the mirror. I immediately recognized that I had been looking too long at the front where I have the LED light that illuminates my face during the transmission, so its light had been imprinted on my retina. I decided to leave everything and go to sleep to relax my eyes, but suddenly a strong pain pierced my head on the right side, surely caused by a stiff neck, but so uncomfortable that it wouldn't let me sleep. When I got up to look for something to calm down, I felt like I got dehydrated in less than 3 seconds, and suddenly I started to feel a tingling sensation in my hands and tongue, as if they were numb. And even though I had drunk a lot of water, I did it again, and managed to fall asleep. Today I don't feel anything, but I have a headache as if I were hungover after a long party.
_AM: Cellular reconfiguration. Many things are breaking inside to allow the new to enter. You have changed the way you eat, the way you live day by day, you are exercising, things you never used to do, you are meditating intensely twice a day, once inside the Great Pyramid of Giza, and the other with 4000 people daily in a network, and forcing your mind to learn biology, piano, and Arabic weekly. Your physical body is trying to adapt to so much change, adjusting to a new reality.
_I: Yes... Maybe I'm exaggerating a bit... But I feel like otherwise, I'm not doing anything by staying still for so long. The hours I used to spend traveling and commuting are now free hours, and I feel like it's a waste of time. Besides, there's been a lot of observation... A lot of effort to Recognize all aspects of myself. First, the Beliefs, which led me to see what I have projected of myself into the world. Then the Qualities that I bring with me, both good and bad. Recognizing my truths and my lies. Realizing my Service, where I am useful and where I am useless. Observing the Bonds of attachments and detachments in my life. Recognizing the frustrations and achievements in what I have created. Seeing the attributes that mark my weaknesses and strengths. Confronting my history and seeing what holds me back or drives me forward. And finally, my accomplished missions and the ones I still hope to accomplish. It's only been 10 days, but they have stripped bare the mental patterns of what I am.
_AM: Forcing you to Accept Yourself. This is what you are, what is within you, what you have generated, materialized, manifested. When you recognize the positive and negative aspects of what shapes you, you are able to identify who you are in this here and now, with what tools you have to develop, you identify from where you observe the world, and how you accept what comes to you. You recognize your shortcomings and your abilities. And sometimes they're not what you expected. The mind does not have a set order, it is an organic network, and for this reason, it is so flexible, but at the same time chaotic. At every turn, the mind can open up a world of possibilities, or a sea of confusions. The traps of the mind are the perceptions we have distorted from reality. Therefore, when we only stay in the mind, we usually have a slight idea of what we are, and we never really see the conflicts, the attributes, nothing we possess, because the mind is designed to survive. So, it will hide or erase anything it can to move forward. Thus, these recognition processes cannot be done in meditation, but in the schematic representation of what the mind sees as a directionless mesh. This breaks the mental structure, leaving it exposed, because when you write it down, you cannot deny it or cover it up with anything. You can only analyze it. You start to move the waves of your vibration, pushing the currents of your being, propelling a tide that will stir up everything that was stagnant in you, on the shores of your chakras. For this reason, strange emotions will appear, physical sensations that you did not perceive before. Many changes in all levels of your being, in order to catalyze what is stuck in you.
_I: Yes, that's how I feel... More tired than usual, with a headache that I haven't felt since I was 18... And a strange sensation of neutrality with an air of strange discomfort, like in a depression without sadness.
_AM: You must rest... Listen to your own advice.
_I: Many times I feel useless just lying in bed, doing nothing... It's as if I force myself to do something to not feel like I'm here for nothing.
_AM: The typical Capricornian underestimation. Activate your Leo aspect, think of yourself, and relax. I won't be able to descend to you clearly if you don't rest your body.
_I: Yes, I must accept that...
_AM: Acceptance is the key. Everything we've talked about, after discovering each positive and negative aspect that builds you, culminates in today's question, which is: "Do you accept yourself as you are?"
_I: Ugh… A difficult question. Because we are always hoping to be like others, complaining about what we have or are, comparing ourselves, hoping to be better...
_AM: When we talk about Acceptance, it is often confused with accepting things as they are and leaving them that way. Sometimes many tend to believe that when spirits or teachers say: “Accept reality”, we are saying that if there is war, accept it, there is nothing to do. But that is not acceptance. The word comes from Latin, a set of two words that are “ad” (towards) and “captare” (to take, receive). Thus, accepting is not leaving things as they are, but avoiding denying them. It is receiving them, taking them, observing them, and with what you get from them, creating something new, transcendental.
_I: I understand the concept better now... Normally what we don't like, we deny, and with this we are only giving it more strength, since we turn it into an opposition, and polarized forces attract each other.
_AM: Imagine having two magnets, very powerful, in which the positive pole of one attracts the negative pole of the other. But instead of allowing them to approach, you try to move them further apart. All you achieve with this is that if you let them go, the attraction between them will be so powerful that they will collapse, breaking between them. But if you keep them close, their union will not be catastrophic. Acceptance, then, is like letting the magnets be close to each other, recognizing what I don't like, because only by seeing it up close can I recognize its shortcomings and look for ways to transform it.
_I: Sure! So now I can say that acceptance does not imply inaction, but rather contemplation and then carrying out transformative action.
_AM: Exactly. For this reason, take the notebook, and write down the title: WHAT I AM, and below it two columns, one where you put those things that you accept about yourself, and in the other column what you deny about yourself.
_I: I know that I accept things about myself such as my purpose, my way of life, my sexuality, my character... And that I deny being very spiritual, and also my physical body, which I do not fully accept...
_AM: Well, write everything down well. Observe yourself. What things do you accept about yourself and what do you deny or not accept about yourself? This will lead you to understand where your polarity forces are that make you exist. Acceptance is a path of responsibility and conscious transformation.
_I: I put all my intention into accepting what I am.
_AM: And there is no other path to truly Be.